Friday, September 20, 2013
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Clikkerclakk!
CLIKKERCLAKK?
Sound good? It should. It's the story I'm writing with YOUR help -- the story being "This Is How I...", a story about how I started out accepting the Nobel Prize(s) for literature only to have a Beast attack the ceremony followed by the Drum Major attacking the Beast followed by... well, you'll have to read it to find out.
And read it you can! Part FOUR is up today on Rusty Carl's blog The Blutonian Death Egg. Rusty is an awesome writer whose best work is "A Dead God's Wrath," a story of demons and murder and magic set in the old West, and I have READ IT and it is PHENOMENAL.
Click HERE to go to Rusty's blog.
Click HERE to go buy "A Dead God's Wrath" for just $0.99.
And: the monsters have been compared (favorably) to Clive Barker's writing; the writing has been compared (favorably) to Kurt Vonnegut's, so what are you waiting for? Get reading:
Temporary Anne:
A contemporary horror classic, "Temporary Anne" presents the terrifying tale of a woman who avoids eternal damnation by sending others to take her place, scrambling to avoid the minions of Mephistopheles while searching for a way to allow her ravaged body to serve her indomitable will. The frightening images -- demons made of ice, babies' souls consumed -- will stick with you for as long as Temporary Anne exists -- which is FOREVER.
Get it on Amazon for $0.99!
And follow the blog tour to get a live short story, This Is How I..., written based on your suggestions:
I froze, standing stick straight as uniformed men funneled around me, fixed on the Drum Major's steely eyes. A sucking sensation tugged at my gut, curling upward, like the smoke essence of my very soul leaking through our connected stares.
I didn't want to look down.
And read it you can! Part FOUR is up today on Rusty Carl's blog The Blutonian Death Egg. Rusty is an awesome writer whose best work is "A Dead God's Wrath," a story of demons and murder and magic set in the old West, and I have READ IT and it is PHENOMENAL.
Click HERE to go to Rusty's blog.
Click HERE to go buy "A Dead God's Wrath" for just $0.99.
And: the monsters have been compared (favorably) to Clive Barker's writing; the writing has been compared (favorably) to Kurt Vonnegut's, so what are you waiting for? Get reading:
A contemporary horror classic, "Temporary Anne" presents the terrifying tale of a woman who avoids eternal damnation by sending others to take her place, scrambling to avoid the minions of Mephistopheles while searching for a way to allow her ravaged body to serve her indomitable will. The frightening images -- demons made of ice, babies' souls consumed -- will stick with you for as long as Temporary Anne exists -- which is FOREVER.
Get it on Amazon for $0.99!
And follow the blog tour to get a live short story, This Is How I..., written based on your suggestions:
3. Laws Of Gravity 9/18
TODAY:4. The Blutonian Death Egg 9/20
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
This is a huge step forward for the Buffalo Bills... (Nonsportsmanlike Conduct!)
... in that their defensive coordinator understands the basics of football, as demonstrated on Twitter:
NFL Press Conferences: MORE USELESS THAN EVER!
On the other hand, I now think tie games should be decided not by overtime, but by each team picking one of their coaching staff to go out and wrestle the chosen coach on the other team. That would not only be entertaining, but would also be an end to overweight, out-of-shape coaches, which is a longstanding pet peeve of mine.
Here are some coaches:
And here is the problem with that:
YOU LITERALLY WORK IN AN ATHLETIC FACILITY AND EMPLOY SEVERAL STRENGTH, CONDITIONING, AND NUTRITIONAL COACHES.
I know NFL coaches work long hours (because they are stupid) but they can't fit in a workout here or there? I have a heart condition, five kids, a 50-hour-plus per week job, and SWEETIE, and I still manage to go for a walk 2 or 3 times a week and have lost 20 pounds this year.
UPDATE: PT Dilloway (find his blog here; he's a great author) mentioned Texas Tech's dreamy coach in the comments.
Here's the Texas Tech coach:
He DOES look like Ryan Gosling.
PT's latest book, by the way, is "Chance of A Lifetime,"
Detective Steve Fischer was as tough as they come. But when he goes to the scene of a robbery at a pharmaceutical company, he winds up being injected with an experimental drug before he's shot in the head by notorious gangster Artie Luther. Steve doesn't die. Instead, the experimental drug causes Steve's body to regenerate as that of a young woman. Now as she tries to adjust to her new life, she sets her sights on repaying Luther and his cronies.
get that and all his other books by clicking here.
#Bills DC Mike Pettine: "It's going to come down to the #Bills versus the #Jets, not me against Rex"
— Buffalo Bills (@buffalobills) September 18, 2013
NFL Press Conferences: MORE USELESS THAN EVER!
On the other hand, I now think tie games should be decided not by overtime, but by each team picking one of their coaching staff to go out and wrestle the chosen coach on the other team. That would not only be entertaining, but would also be an end to overweight, out-of-shape coaches, which is a longstanding pet peeve of mine.
Here are some coaches:
 |
Jets' Coach Rex Ryan. |
 |
| Chiefs' coach Andy Reid |
 |
Packers' coach Mike "Mike" McCarthy |
And here is the problem with that:
YOU LITERALLY WORK IN AN ATHLETIC FACILITY AND EMPLOY SEVERAL STRENGTH, CONDITIONING, AND NUTRITIONAL COACHES.
I know NFL coaches work long hours (because they are stupid) but they can't fit in a workout here or there? I have a heart condition, five kids, a 50-hour-plus per week job, and SWEETIE, and I still manage to go for a walk 2 or 3 times a week and have lost 20 pounds this year.
UPDATE: PT Dilloway (find his blog here; he's a great author) mentioned Texas Tech's dreamy coach in the comments.
Here's the Texas Tech coach:
He DOES look like Ryan Gosling.
PT's latest book, by the way, is "Chance of A Lifetime,"
Detective Steve Fischer was as tough as they come. But when he goes to the scene of a robbery at a pharmaceutical company, he winds up being injected with an experimental drug before he's shot in the head by notorious gangster Artie Luther. Steve doesn't die. Instead, the experimental drug causes Steve's body to regenerate as that of a young woman. Now as she tries to adjust to her new life, she sets her sights on repaying Luther and his cronies.
get that and all his other books by clicking here.
Sweetie is... Sweetie (Quote of the Day)
"She ordered an avocado sandwich and then took all the avocados off."-- Middle's report on her lunch with Sweetie.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Speaking of going to Hell, Mother Jones drops the ball on their "Football Expose" (Nonsportsmanlike Conduct!)
One of my longstanding themes in talking about sports -- football, anyway -- is how awful the owners are, and how awful rich people are in general. And so when I saw this Tweet from Mother Jones:
We matrix-ified NFL owners based on their political giving and their relative assholery: http://t.co/WXABnOw8K8
— Mother Jones (@MotherJones) September 16, 2013
I couldn't help but look, and found THIS:
Which is INCREDIBLE. Even if they did get some stuff wrong.
The highlights, and a few thoughts on things from me:
They rank Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti as a 'keep 'em', which demonstrates just how you're grading on a curve when you talk about the rich. The article notes that Bisciotti ripped his employees out of more than million in back pay, having to get sued to get it, and seems complimentary about how Steve flies his buddies in to watch games on a private jet.
It costs about $5,400 per hour to fly a private jet. Or 744 times the federal minimum hourly wage.
Ralph Wilson, owner of my semi-beloved Bills, is ranked lower than Steve ItalianCookie, even though Wilson, whose franchise is worth $909,000,000 (he bought the team for $25,000, and before you say "Well, that's 1959," keep in mind that $25,000 in 1959 is equal to $200,000 today, so Wilson's Bills -- the awfulest team in the league! -- are worth 4,545 times what he paid for them, in real dollars), got Erie County, Buffalo, to pick up most of the cost of his private stadium. Buffalo has a 9.7% unemployment rate and 1/2 the people living in Buffalo make under $27,000 per year. If I were part of the stupid #BILLSMAFIA I'd burn the stadium to the ground. People who decry socialism in health care need to wonder why tax dollars can pay for stadiums but not dialysis.
Pat Bowlen, another keep 'em on the Broncos, is lauded for making sure it's the "fans' team." Bowlen, worth $1,000,000,000, raised their ticket prices two years in a row. The lowest price now is $45 for terrible seats. That's only two hours' pay for the average worker in Denver -- where the average hourly wage is a seemingly-high $22.45 per hour. That's only $46,000 per year, though. The average Denver fan would have to save for 217,391 years (and four months!) to equal Pat's net worth.
Much of the article fails to highlight just how much public funding goes into supporting the billionaires who get richer everytime you buy a jersey, let alone watch the games. (Yesterday, I watched 3 minutes of San Francisco's game against Seattle, before taking Mr F:
For a ride and then reading Dinosaur Comics.
But a few other highlights:
Paul Allen, who owns the Seahawks and a yacht that costs nearly $400,000 a week to operate, is a keep 'em. Why? Mother Jones gives him credit for donating $1,600,000 to a campaign to support public charter schools. That is 0.01% of his net worth, and no I didn't displace that decimal point. The annual budget for Seattle's public schools is $57,700,000 (as of this year.) Paul Allen could pay for 263 years' worth of public schools, because he is worth $15,000,000,000, and no, I didn't misplace any decimals there, either.
Meanwhile, Jeff Lurie of the Eagles gets lauded for going green -- HA! 'cause the Eagles are green! I get it!-- at his stadium, 36% of which has publicly funded financing according to this report. Can you borrow money from the government to keep up your business' facility? I didn't think so. Lurie, who was born into wealth because his grandfather knew how to start and run a business, was primarily responsible for financing a string of bombs while working for his family's film business, also saw fit to pay Michael Vick to be his starting quarterback. Vick will make $12,500,000 this year. Here is a recap of Vick's career highlight:
2002 : Execution of "Bad Newz Kennels" Pit Bulls that Performed Poorly in "Testing" Sessions :
12. In or about February 2002, PEACE and VICK "rolled" or "tested" some of their fighting dogs against other dogs owned by CW 1 and others in Virginia Beach, Virginia. "Rolling" or "testing" a fighting dog means placing the dog in a short fighting match to determine how well the animal fights . One of the pit bulls sponsored by PEACE and VICK in this "testing" session did not fight very well .
13 . In or about February 2002, PEACE executed the pit bull that did not perform well in the "testing" session by shooting it with a .22 caliber pistol .
14 . In or about the summer of 2002 at various times, the exact dates being unknown to the Grand Jury, PEACE, PHILLIPS, TAYLOR, and VICK "rolled" or "tested" additional - Bad Newz Kennels" dogs by putting the dogs through fighting sessions at 1915 Moonlight Road to determine which animals were good fighters .
15 . In or about the summer of 2002, PEACE executed at least one dog that did not perform well in a "testing" session at 1915 Moonlight Road by shooting the animal .
16 . In or about the summer of 2002, PHILLIPS executed at least one dog that did not perform well in a "testing" session at 1915 Moonlight Road by shooting the animal,
17. In or about the summer of 2002, TAYLOR executed at least two dogs that did not perform well in "testing" sessions at 1915 Moonlight Road by shooting one dog and electrocuting the other .That's from the grand jury indictment. There's no word on whether Vick now uses "green power" to electrocute dogs that don't perform well in fights.
There could be more. I don't have time to properly investigate each and every person on Mother Jones' list. The point is, wWhen you grade people on a curve, someone has to pass and someone has to fail. But why should we judge the rich by standards other than how we judge the poor or middle class? Would you laud someone for giving $4.60 to a charity? If you make $46,000 per year, that's the same percentage of income that Paul Allen, horrible person, gave to the public school fight -- but the $4.60 is a lot harder for someone making only $46,000 per year to part with, because after giving that $4.60, that person has only $45,995.40 left. After giving up his $1,600,000, Paul Allen is left with $14,998,400,000.
Only.
Keep that in mind the next time you laud someone for being great, Mother Jones -- and, football fans? Do what I do: every time you spend money on a football-related item, give an equal amount to a charity. Then you might have a chance to get into Heaven where, if there's any justice, NOBODY has a yacht that costs $400,000 a week to operate.
fae3663556858f47faf2b743223071254102ad65235235b9d4
Sunday, September 15, 2013
"I always knew I was going to Hell..."
BLOG TOUR UPDATE:
TODAY, I am on Andrew Leon's blog Strange Pegs, with PART TWO of the terrifying short story "This Is How I..." being written LIVE based on READER SUGGESTIONS.
Andrew is the brilliant author of great horror/spec fic stories like "The House On The Corner" and the brand new serial horror story "Shadow Spinner." Kids who can control shadows? CHECK. Man with no eyes? CHECK. Otherworldly father who must judge his son for leaving Eden? CHECK, I THINK. Shadow Spinner is available in complete, hard-copy book form, or you can get it electronically in chapter-and-section format.
CLICK HERE to to go Andrew's blog,
CLICK HERE to go to Andrew's Amazon author page.
But first, the girl of your dreams becomes the ghoul of your nightmares, as Anne learns, just before she dies of a way she can avoid going to Hell. It's a gruesome life she leads for centuries after that, but it beats dying... just barely.
A contemporary horror classic, "Temporary Anne" presents the terrifying tale of a woman who avoids eternal damnation by sending others to take her place, scrambling to avoid the minions of Mephistopheles while searching for a way to allow her ravaged body to serve her indomitable will. The frightening images -- demons made of ice, babies' souls consumed -- will stick with you for as long as Temporary Anne exists -- which is FOREVER.
Get it on Amazon for $0.99!
And follow the blog tour to get a live short story, This Is How I..., written based on your suggestions:
Andrew is the brilliant author of great horror/spec fic stories like "The House On The Corner" and the brand new serial horror story "Shadow Spinner." Kids who can control shadows? CHECK. Man with no eyes? CHECK. Otherworldly father who must judge his son for leaving Eden? CHECK, I THINK. Shadow Spinner is available in complete, hard-copy book form, or you can get it electronically in chapter-and-section format.
CLICK HERE to to go Andrew's blog,
CLICK HERE to go to Andrew's Amazon author page.
But first, the girl of your dreams becomes the ghoul of your nightmares, as Anne learns, just before she dies of a way she can avoid going to Hell. It's a gruesome life she leads for centuries after that, but it beats dying... just barely.
A contemporary horror classic, "Temporary Anne" presents the terrifying tale of a woman who avoids eternal damnation by sending others to take her place, scrambling to avoid the minions of Mephistopheles while searching for a way to allow her ravaged body to serve her indomitable will. The frightening images -- demons made of ice, babies' souls consumed -- will stick with you for as long as Temporary Anne exists -- which is FOREVER.
Get it on Amazon for $0.99!
And follow the blog tour to get a live short story, This Is How I..., written based on your suggestions:
UPCOMING DATES:
3. Laws Of Gravity 9/184. The Blutonian Death Egg 9/206. Jessica Bell Author/Musician 9/268. Jess' Book Blog 10/310.PTDilloway.com 10/10
This picture turned out exactly the way I wanted it to. (Picture of the Day)
So it kind of is the days of miracle and wonder. Yesterday, walking around Willy Street in Madison, we paused by the river to eat lunch and look at things, and one of the things I liked was the way the leaves, which were motionless, appeared to wave as the light reflected off the river below splashed over them.
Here is the tree we sat under, the way pictures look:
But here it is, the way it actually looked in real life:
The tree wasn't moving, at all. That's just the shifting light from the water below:
This is an age of miracle and wonder, and I can't get my ($#(%&## photos to upload. (Photo of the Day)
HI! I was going to do a big old post today in which I continued the amazing-but-true story of how I built a bunch of shelves and turned a spare bedroom into a walk-in closet, but then I couldn't get my photos to back up on my phone so that I could add them easily to my post, and then I had to build a series of increasingly-complex satellite models out of blocks for Mr Bunches, and then I got really really frustrated over the ongoing problems with my photos and then, by now -- 10:00 a.m. on Sunday morning -- when I FINALLY fixed the problem after THREE HOURS of trying, I am not in the mood to write a post.
So. Here is a photo of Mr F (on the left) and Mr Bunches (the other one) not paying any attention to a graffiti Boba Fett on a bike path bridge yesterday.
"MR F IS ON THE LEFT" should be a children's book.
So. Here is a photo of Mr F (on the left) and Mr Bunches (the other one) not paying any attention to a graffiti Boba Fett on a bike path bridge yesterday.
"MR F IS ON THE LEFT" should be a children's book.
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