Because sometimes I listen to the news on the way into work... (Mourning Gnus 1)

This is a new thing I'm trying out. Bear with me.

Mourning Gnus for 5/11/09:


Story that shows people don't get it:

Them: The Washington Nationals might pay as much as $50 million to sign college pitcher Mark Strasburg.

Me: If he's smart, he'll use $40 million of that at least to ensure that the rest of the major league teams sign college-level hitters instead of the pros he'll face otherwise. There are 902 college baseball teams, with 9 starters each, for 8,118 starting college baseball players. Major league rosters have 25 active players, for each of 32 teams -- or 800 players in the majors at any one time. That means that Strasburg will next year be facing the top 9% of baseball players -- not the mediocre college hitters he's compiled a good record with.

Betcha Didn't Think Of This Before I Brought It Up: The zoo in which that orangutan escaped had sharpshooters ready with tranquilizer darts in case the orangutan went on a rampage -- to protect the zoo-goers who remained in the park, I assume -- but they were apparently waiting for it to attack before shooting it. I don't know what tranquilizer they used, but one of the fastest acting takes anywhere from 3-8 minutes on small animals. How far would that ape have gotten in 8 minutes?


Website I'm Liking A Lot Today: Damn Interesting has a great article on how happy people are delusional. I'm happy... so... um...

Google Waffle Update: I'm still number 1. Don't believe me? Go google sticky waffle sandwiches and check for yourself.

Need vinyl shutters? Sure you do -- they're the sexy eyelashes of your house. Try Larson Shutters to glam your place up a bit.

Question of the Day: 58

If you jump up in the air in a spaceship, and just stay free-falling while the spaceship keeps moving in the same direction, eventually would you drift towards the back of the spaceship if you waited long enough?

See, if you're standing, say, in a bus, and you jump up, technically you jump up-and-forward -- because the bus and you are traveling forward, so you jump in an arc and land in the same spot on the bus because you're moving forward at the same rate as the bus.

But that's for a short jump, when your inertia carries you forward while gravity carries you downward.

But say it's a really long jump... like in space. So I'm on the space shuttle, heading towards Jupiter, and it's under full throttle, and I jump up. And stay up. For days, weeks, months, years. The space shuttle continues to accelerate, but I don't, right? Or does the air push me forward?

Because I think eventually I'm going to be smushed against the back of the space shuttle.

This question occurred to me during the episode of Little Einsteins in which one of Saturn's rings falls to Earth and the Einsteins have to put it back, getting into trouble along the way when asteroids start coming towards them and they have to use giant drumsticks to bat the asteroids away.

Plus, the Smashing Pumpkins do the "Hokey Pokey." It's Radi-some (That's Radical + Awesome, all in one)

There's a lot to take care of before you get married. You've got to rent a tuxedo, find a church and a reception hall, hire a DJ (or a band -- but I'd probably go with a DJ, because you're going to get a greater variety of music, plus people really like to do the "Chicken Dance" at weddings, and what band is going to do that well?)(Besides Smashing Pumpkins, of course. They do an awesome "Chicken Dance," but I think they're broken up) and pick out a cake and hire a photographer and the invitations -- don't forget those, and while you're at it, swing by the record store to pick up that "Smashing Pumpkins Greatest Hits CD" to see if that one blogger was lying about how they did a great version of the Chicken Dance) and also the flowers, got to have flowers...

It gets so busy that you might just forget the most important thing: The Bride!

Just kidding! You've got her -- she's the one that's making you go get all that stuff, and the one who's saying "What are you doing messing around with the Smashing Pumpkins' CD, which we already have, and also did you pick up the rings?"

And, dude-- you totally forgot.

You do already have the Smashing Pumpkins' CD!

And you also forgot to get the rings. You're getting married, tomorrow, and you've got no rings!

Blue Nile to the rescue! Blue Nile is an INTERNET store -- no driving around, no getting distracted by record stores. Over 200 rings to choose from, and here's the best part, dude...

Order from them, and I quit saying "dude."

No, wait, I'll do that, but the best part is this: NEXT DAY DELIVERY! So you're totally saved. You'll have those wedding rings waiting when your bride-to-be walks down the aisle.

Dude.

Order from Blue Nile and I'll stop that.

Plus, I swear it's true about the Smashing Pumpkins thing.