Sweetie’s Hunk/ Dispute of The Week, 9:

Sweetie’s Hunk Dispute of The Week Is Robert Pattinson/William Fichter:

This:

Is Robert Pattinson, specifically Robert Pattinson in "Twilight." Sweetie saw "Twilight" this week, after eagerly awaiting it for some time. Sweetie then told me a little about the movie, including that the vampires [SPOILER ALERT?] don't die when they see the sun, their skin gets all diamond-y. Which I would show you a picture of, but there's none on the Internet that I can find, so it's some kind of big secret or something. Let's just assume it's superdumb/superromantic, depending on whether you are male or female.

Anyway, when I asked "So, did Robert Pattinson's skin get all diamond-y?" Sweetie responded by sighing "Yes." She actually sighed.

Sweetie then later in the week searched the Internet and put a picture of Robert Pattinson on the desktop of our computer.

But when I teased Sweetie about thinking Robert Pattinson was cute, she then secretly one night switched the desktop picture to this guy:

Who is "William Fichter" and who some of our friends once said I resemble.

So when I asked Sweetie who the Hunk of the Week was last night, Sweetie said "William Fichter," and I vetoed her choice, telling her that it was obviously Robert Pattinson. She then claimed it wasn't and that he was too young, but quickly added that it would be "Robert Pattinson" in "Twilight," if it was Robert Pattinson at all, which it wasn't, and that I should add that it's under protest.

So:

Sweetie’s Hunk Dispute of The Week:

Robert Pattinson:

You/Sweetie Know Him As: The guy who causes 12-year-old girls (and wives although they won't really admit it) to swoon.

I Know Him As: The guy who, apparently, comes in second to William Fichter in our house, despite all evidence to the contrary.

Reason I Tell Myself Sweetie Likes Him: Apparently, he can sing, too, as I know from being informed that we have purchased two Twilight albums off of iTunes, albums that include several songs by Robert Pattinson.

Actual Reason Sweetie Likes Him: "You can only list him if you tell everyone I picked William Fichter." Also: "I got the albums mostly for the score, which has a lot of piano in it." So, officially, Sweetie doesn't like Robert Pattinson. She likes William Fichter and the piano.

Point I'd Like To Make About Sweetie's Actual Reason For Liking Him: Look, It's no big deal, really. I am in no way jealous of some twenty-something guy who happened to become a hearthrob totally out of nowhere and who doesn't even appear to have the ability to comb his hair. It's not like he's going to have a career, anyway. He's the Chachi of the 2000s. So what do I care?

Hey, look what's posted here for no reason whatsoever...

Which, I will admit, was not bad. So, ummm, big movie star, amazingly handsome, heartthrob to women everywhere, and can play guitar and sing. CURSE YOU, ROBERT PATTINSON!