Coupons can do ANYTHING!

I get my coupons the old fashioned way-- I take the old ones I've had in a drawer since 1993, scan them into the computer, change the expiration date to something in 2011, and then also put in the fine print the phrase: By accepting this coupon you are agreeing to make the presenter a 98% owner of all stock in your corporation.

That's why I'm now the CEO of four different ice cream franchises. Look for "Ben & Jerry & Briane's" Ice Cream to hit the shelves this year.

But there's a way easier way to do it, one that doesn't involve facing potential federal indictment. (Try and get me, coppers! I've got enough Chunky Monkey to take you all down.)

Simply go to EZCouponsearch.com -- a site that, as it promises right in its name will allow you to... wait for it... do an Easy Coupon Search! Let's say you were shopping for a laptop for Middle's graduation, approaching in about a month, and you wanted to save some money on it but the method you first suggested (taking someone's while they're in the bathroom at Starbuck's) was disapproved by Sweetie.

Purely hypothetical situation, that is.

You could, instead, go to EZCouponsearch.com and look for an HP Coupon Code like they one they've got there right now, a coupon that'll give $400 off on a customized HP Pavillion notebook.

Four hundred bucks off -- and I didn't even have to alter it in the slightest. I just had to click it and it took me right to the HP Site, where I could use the coupon and not have to sweat it out while the cashier says something like "How come this coupon says that you get $1.00 off a package of Wheat Thins and also that you'll become the next King of America?"

Okay, so I was overreaching a bit there. I'll hit my goals. I'm sure if I search heard enough, EZCouponsearch.com will have, somewhere among the football jerseys, baby clothes, Best Buy deals, and hundreds of other coupons, a coupon that also says Sweetie has to rub my feet every night for at least an hour.