Sweetie might not be so alarmed if it was George Clooney coming through the window, but I still don't want him to do that.

I recently came to the conclusion that our house is a sitting duck of vulnerability for thieves who want to get my stuff. The only defense I have currently is that most of my stuff is useless to thieves -- unless there is a thriving black market for "old Calvin & Hobbes' books" and "knick knacks that two year olds threw at the cats."

But someday I hope to have stuff that's worthy of protecting, and when that day comes, I want to be able to protect it properly. I want the kind of security that would have foiled George Clooney in "Ocean's 11." I want the kind of wireless security system that will keep my stuff, my house, and my family safe.

And, um... I'd like it to be affordable, because I'll have spent a lot of money on the stuff that I'm protecting, so I don't want to spend a lot on the stuff to protect the stuff I'm protecting. (Got that?)

That's where GE Home Security comes in. They're protecting America by protecting its houses, and I can get a GE Home Security system protecting up to 10 entry points (the "silver package"), with FREE installation and low monthly fees -- fees that cover constant monitoring and instant alerts when something does go wrong. 10 entry points -- that's front door, back door, side door, and 7 windows -- which is all the windows that a thief (George Clooney) could reach.

So whether it's the kids next door breaking in to get my Calvin & Hobbes books, or George Clooney and Brad Pitt breaking in to get my... Calvin & Hobbes books... GE Home Security can protect me and my family and my stuff.

And, by calling 877-470-2751 to order, I'll get, free, two wireless keychain remotes, so that Sweetie and I can each arm the system remotely.