Some people think clowns are scary. Me, I like to use them to "set the mood.'

Lots of guys wouldn't even think of taking their wife for a romantic interlude that involves learning how to be a clown. But I, as you may have surmised by now, am not "lots of guys." As Jerry Seinfeld might say, I'm just the one guy.

And I'm just the one guy who might surprise his wife with a quick trip to the "10th Annual Clown Jam" in Branson, Missouri. Branson, of course, is that city in Missouri that's known for being all things to all people: shows, shopping, museums, amusement parks, fancy hotels, and more, all packed into one city and awaiting your attention.

So it wouldn't be hard to convince Sweetie to go down there, I expect -- all I'd have to do is run her through step by step. I'd say "Sweetie, we could go away for the weekend, and stay in a fancy hotel like the Hilton Promenade at Branson Landing:"

And then, when I've got her hooked, say "And there's tons of places to shop there, as well as all kinds of shows to see, too."

And she'd be all like "Yeah, well, that sounds okay but knowing you there's some catch, so what's going on?"

And I'd say "No catch at all. Just, you know, awesome hotels like that one and maybe take in the Liverpool Legends show with Beatles imitators and all. And then we could try one of the dozens of shops that offer high-end quality shopping for you. And then, when that's done, we could check out the Titanic Museum touring exhibition."

And then Sweetie would cave and say "Okay, that sounds excellent and romantic! Let's go!" and then I'd wait until we checked into the
Hilton Branson Convention Center Hotel and only then spring on her that, oh, by the way, we'll also be signing up for classes to learn how to be a clown and magician! Yay for romance!