Pope Swift To Offer Comfort, Courage To Indiana Rep Under Fire For His Views On Marriage

Pictured: Serious, moral world leader
Pope Francis (center), taking a courageous
stance against injustice.

Pope Swift, benefactor to the downtrodden who hope only for the chance to make everyone conform to their religious beliefs, met in secret with Kim Davis while in America.  But Kim Davis is not the only prisoner of conscience trapped in the American political system! Consider the case of (now former) Indiana State House Majority Leader Jud McMillin, recently forced to resign because of his views on marriage and religious freedom.

McMillin, a "rising star" in the Indiana Republican Party, was brought down by the forces of secular humanism/liberal mafia/the gays recently probably because he signed onto a 'religious freedom' bill that would've given Indiana businesses the "right" (Pope/God's words) to conscientiously object to serving gays.

The vast left wing conspiracy/Matt Damon brought down McMillin by stealing his phone in Canada, using it to record a sex video, sending that sex video to McMillin's contacts, and then returning his phone to him. TYPICAL. Here's the official statement from McMillin:

“My phone was stolen in Canada and out of my control for about 24 hours. I have just been able to reactivate it under my control. Please disregard any messages you received recently. I am truly sorry for anything offensive you may have received.”

McMillin has previously been twice targeted by Satan/Hillary Clinton: once when he was sued for inflicting emotional distress on a crime victim he became 'romantically involved' with while a prosecutor, and once when it was claimed he used his government position to steer projects to his law firm.

While he waits for Pope Swift to call, McMillin is "focus[ing] all of [his] attention on making [his] family's world a better place." We should all live by his courageous example.

Other "Conscientious Objectors" The Pope Could Meet With, 1:

Pope Francis and Kim Davis
(file photo)

The Pope, having decided to confer upon Kim Davis some sort of honored status for Davis' stubborn refusal to understand how law/government works, has apparently gone into the business of watering down his brand in order to confer popularity by association.  He is no longer Pope Francis; he is Pope Swift.

So how about some other people Pope Swift could meet with to encourage them in their desperate struggles to push back the tide of secular humanism?

First up: Lexington County Coroner Margaret Fisher.  Ms. Fisher is engaged in the same struggle against Satan as Davis, more or less, but with far less publicity. While every media outlet in the world follows Davis and her new best pal Pope Swift, up until now only The State has provided the public with a glimpse into the hardscrabble world of Lexington County politics.

Fisher, a hero on a par with Kim Davis, is pushing back against Big Government/liberals/Mars to fight for the right to continue to recognize traditional pets: Fisher, as coroner, took in a small kitten she named "Morticia" that she uses to console people and generally improve office morale.  That is America, right there, far more so than pink houses or Bruce Springsteen's bandanna-d butt.  But what does Obama/Hillary/probably the gays do? They demand that she not have a kitten in the office! And they sent in photographers who were probably janitors just doing their job to photograph the kitten, shades of WATERGATE.

Worst of all, the entire controversy will be submitted to the democratic process.   Fisher, the site says

is appealing the kitten’s eviction to the nine council members, seeking an exception to the rule that pets can’t be kept in county buildings. No discussion is expected on her request for a few weeks. “If they vote it down, then she goes,” Fisher said. “She’ll go on to another life.” 

The Vatican has not yet confirmed whether Pope Swift will meet with Fisher, the kitten, or both. Until then, Fisher will have to try to stay strong and hope that at least Huckabee mentions her on TV.