So I went and sweated my way around 26 laps at the track today -- that's just over two miles, and I finished it in record time -- just under two aching knees and one tired calf, plus three charlie horses and a near-stroke.
As I get older, it gets harder and harder to work out. When I was younger, I could run 6, 7, 8, miles at a time and go out partying that night and feel great in the morning. I never DID that, mind you; mostly I would go running 6 or 7 or 8 miles and then go sit home alone watching TV or reading and wondering why it was I never got invited to parties, and what I was doing all that working out and staying in shape for if it wasn't going to lead to me being the hottest guy at parties... who wants to be the hottest guy reading "Dirk Gently" books in an efficiency apartment?
Well, I do, but it's not like I had many options.
I have options for exercising, these days. I can exercise, and be sore for days afterwards, and still not lose much of the weight, or I could take the Best Diet Pills around, available from Lab-88. Their site has all these supplements and diet pills and energy boosters and things, and they're the ones used by the stars, too -- celebrities who use these things and are, well, CELEBRATED. The pills are safe, and they swear to the effectiveness of them, too.
There has to be something to it, judging by the testimonials, and by the celebs that use them. So maybe it's time I hung up the jogging shoes, got some of Lab-88's diet pills, and maybe their energy supplements, and became the hottest guy around again. Only this time, I won't be the hottest guy reading "Dirk Gently" in an efficiency apartment. I'll be the hottest guy playing "Cloverfield" with two-year-olds.
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