Enemies List: 3

1. People who honk their horn.
2. Pepperoni pizza.
3. The 2008 Detroit Lions.

Every year, I've watched and waited for a football team to lose all 16 games in a single season, something that had never happened. I loved watching teams lose and lose and lose and then pull out some meaningless victory each year to go 1-15, or 2-14, and I loved, too, that the fact that nobody had ever done it meant that 0-for-Everything was the greatest, most unachievable record in sports, a record that humans might never set.

Then, this year, Detroit went and did it and just sucked all the joy out of 0-for-Everything. Once it's been done, it's not that cool to do it anymore. It's kind of like the first guy to climb Mount Everest; after that, everyone else who climbs it just gets met with "So what? We know it can be done." Or like a McDonald's Arctic Orange shake: The anticipation is much better than the reality.