Adrift in space, on an island that is seemingly separated from the natural world, an island teeming with ordinary people endowed by superpowers and cast into a fate not their own, and teeming, too, with ex-husbands and sexy next-door neighbors, Smedley Jenkins leads a ragtag band of would-be pop singers on a quest to find a new home before they are savagely destroyed...
This Week's Episode: "I Think It's A Commentary On Our Society."
[SCENE: A luxury apartment, located on the island. Smedley, The Fax Pig, and an unknown man are sitting on a luxurious couch drinking luxurious drinks and watching luxurious televisions and eating from luxurious pig troughs. Smedley is talking to the unknown man.]
Smedley: So why is it they call you The Humorist?
Humorist: It's 'cause I've killed a lot of people in my day, and I'm extremely violent.
Smedley: See? I don't get that. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Is it supposed to be ironic? 'Cause it's not. You know that, right?
Humorist: That's what I always said to people, too. But they said people will ignore that if we make a lot of oblique references to jokes and humor.
Smedley: Does that work?
Humorist: If it doesn't, then I guess the joke's on you.
Smedley: But... oh. I see. Nicely done.
Humorist: Was it? I can't tell anymore. How about some more luxurious brandy in a luxurious glass, to show that I am decadent?
Smedley: Great. Bring it on. I think the Fax Pig could use more luxurious swill.
Humorist: I've got lots... what was that?
Smedley: Expecting someone?
Humorist: If I was, would I have said "What was that?" Wouldn't I have said something like Oh, hey, there's our other guest?
Smedley: You don't have to be so mean about it.
Humorist: I guess you just don't get the joke.
Smedley: That was a joke? 'Cause it... oh. Got it.
Humorist: [to a newcomer who just broke down the door] I guess I expected this.
Newcomer: Then how come you're both drunk and not ready?
Humorist: Seems like the joke's on me.
Smedley: Wait, is this some sort of... never mind. Got. Hide, Fax Pig!
[THE NEWCOMER AND THE HUMORIST FIGHT, SUPERVIOLENTLY AND SOMETIMES IN SLOW MOTION, WHICH IS THE NEW WAY OF SHOWING THAT TIHNGS ARE GOING REALLY FAST, AND A WAY BETTER WAY TO DO THAT THEN TO MAKE THE FIGHTS ALL CONFUSING, LIKE SOME MOVIES THAT SEEM TO BE ALL SET ON A 'DARK' 'NIGHT' SEEM TO DO. THE HUMORIST IS EVENTUALLY THROWN OUT A WINDOW AND DIES]
Smedley: [coming out from behind the couch] Why'd you do that?
Newcomer: He owed me money. Twelve bucks.
Smedley: Aren't there laws protecting people from getting violently beaten up in slow motion by debt collectors?
Newcomer: You don't get it, do you? Here in this quasi-alternate society that seems both futuristic and retro...
Smedley: ... And is on an island in space. Don't forget that. Plus I'm friends with my ex-wife, for no real good reason. And I think I run both a paper company and a television studio. Which I really should be getting back to, except my wacky personal life interferes all the time. Plus, did you know that marriage is hard?
[Studio audience laughs.]
Newcomer: Right. Anyway, here on all that, the laws no longer protect us, and people need to get better or get out. Or something like that. I think that's the message I'm trying to send.
Smedley: [Looking out the window] I thought the message you were trying to send was "live on the ground floor."
(Studio audience laughs).
Newcomer: I guess the joke is on him.
Smedley: What do you mean... I, oh. Right.
* * * * * * * *
Luckily, we still live in a society where laws keep debt collectors from breaking down our doors and scaring our fax pigs -- but that doesn't mean that we don't have to pay back our bills, and these days, money can be tight. You might find yourself caught in a crunch, with unexpected car repairs, or maybe an emergency trip to the dentist, and not have enough money to cover those and your credit cards and still get gas and groceries.
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1 comment:
If you want this show to make it to television, you need to make Smedley fat and ugly, while his wife should be super-hot. She should be the kind of total babe who would never talk to a guy like him in real life. Also, she and his ex-wife should both be named "Christine."
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