Then again, if you haven't been taking care of yourself, this may NOT be a good Valentine's Day present.

So it's February and Valentine's Day is 13 days away, not counting today, which is already almost 1/4 over as I write this, and not counting Valentine's Day because if you're talking about getting your valentine a present, you can't count the actual DAY because you don't want to be out shopping that day, you want to be giving him/her/them the present.

So you've got, by my math, about an hour left to shop, which, okay, you may want to quibble with my subtraction there but let's face it, you're not going to get off your duffett and get going, so 1 hour it is, because by the time you remember to do this, it'll be February 13, unless you take my advice and get your loved one some $6.95 prescription eyeglasses from Zenni Optical.

Zenni, which is one of my favorite companies, is that bunch that make stylish,high-quality glasses frames that they then sell to you for literally less than you'll pay for the number 2 value meal at McDonald's (which is the price scale I use to measure everything.) That's the two-cheeseburgers meal, and I'm assuming you're supersizing it because then you get the extra soda for the same exact price, but even then, Zenni's glasses are a better deal and should not be overlooked this Valentine's Day.

(See what I did there? Overlooked? Okay. Not my best work. It's 5:46 a.m.)

Here. Feast your eyes on this:



Again, I apologize for the weak nature of these puns this morning. I've also got a bit of a cold. And a liver condition. Anyway, the point is, that's a very stylish pair of spectacles there, and they cost $6.95.

Zenni's FULL of options like that. And they've got men's and children's glasses, too, which means your Valentine's Day present could be to get all of you new glasses so you can all finally see what each of you LOOKS like.

(Comb your hair, first, it looks like a bird's nest up there.)

Now, many people will be saying "Where's the romance in this?" but to them I say: Last year, you got her a pair of fluffy socks with hearts on them. Function doesn't not equal romance; the fact that they're useful doesn't mean unromantic. You could make a romantic point out of it: Tell her you want to help her upgrade her glasses and pick them out together, or tell him that it's time he stopped squinting his face all up and admit he needs some specs and point out how handsome and smart he'll seem.

Romance is as romance does, as nobody ever said before this moment, so I've trademarked that. Zenni allows you to get a thoughtful, practical, but still romantic gift. And if anything, look at it this way: You can get him or her new glasses for six bucks, and then use the rest of your money for some roses that your loved one will actually be able to see and appreciate.