I'd like to blame the peanut butter on the Babies! but they don't eat it.

I'm looking down at my footwear and noticing a couple of things. First, the shoelaces are uneven again and that's going to bug me today. Second, I appear to have peanut butter on one of them and I'm not sure what's up with that.

Third, my shoes are not very manly.

Okay, they're not manly at all.

My job is not very manly. I don't often require rugged footwear around the office -- lawyering doesn't impose a lot of demands on the feet, other than maybe keeping the peanut butter off of them (and on the briefs, where it belongs! ba dum bum.) (On second thought, I don't get that joke, either.)

That doesn't keep me from wanting some cool manly footwear, something that would say to the world Hey, this guy does a cool manly job even though I don't. Something like the Magnum Boots you can buy at CopShoes.

Even that name is manly.

These Magnum boots are leather, waterproof, anti-fray, anti-bacterial --and that's cool, because if you need that, then your job requires your footwear to be able to kill living organisms that are attacking you, so you're like an astronaut or explorer or something -- and they have something called "Ballistic nylon."

I'm pretty sure my shoes are not ballistic anything. They're just black. And peanut butter colored, in spots.

The Magnum boots are on sale on the CopShoes website -- where they not only have real boots for real jobs, but real people to answer your phone calls and emails in their customer service department (which is one of the best around), because if you wear those kind of boots, you don't have time for "autoreply" emails and phone trees -- you want to get in and order your boots online, get your questions answered, and have them shipped, because you've got fires to put out, bad guys to catch, planets to explore, peanut-butter-shoe-wearing lawyers to stomp on.

Wait, what was that last one?