Monday, October 16, 2006

Playlist & Down... To Go: Table of Contents

They said it couldn't be done... okay. No, they didn't. They don't even know I'm trying to do it. But I am: I'm counting down every song on my ever-expanding list of songs on my iPod... from 1 to 10,000, I'll keep on pushing the rock up that hill even if the hill keeps getting higher. Here they all are... coupled with my thoughts on, you know, stuff.


Stormy Weather.

Down... To Go:

1. Who Needs You (Queen)

5. Speak To The Sky (Rick Springfield)

6. "I'm From Barcelona" (We're From Barcelona)

7: "3rd Planet," Modest Mouse.

83: "The Obvious Child," Paul Simon

83: "Out the Window," Violent Femmes.

84: "Dancing In Heaven," Q-Feel.

85: President Garfield's Hornpipe.

X: "O My Cherry", Pas/Cal

86: "Light of Love," Music Go Music

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Thinking The Lions, and 117* Other Ways To Look At Life (*Give Or Take)

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Jobs V. Life

Life is what happens when you're not working.
-- Me.

Jobs vs. Life
is my attempt to explore and explain that quote. I've always believed that life happens around work... but there's no denying that a big part of life is made up of work. I've been working since I was 13, and I'll probably work until I'm 70, or more. Hours and hours, days and days, years and years, of doing things that I'd rather not have been doing. What'd I get out of it? We'll see, as I review each and every job I've ever had and what I think about it at this point of my life?

Job One: The Paperboy:

The Paperboy, Part 1

The Paperboy, Part 2.

The Paperboy, Part 3.

The Paperboy, Part 4.

The Paperboy, Part 5.

The Paperboy, Part 6

Job 2: McDonald's.

McDonald's, Part One.

McDonald's, Part Two.

McDonald's, Part Three.

McDonald's, part Four.

McDonald's, part Five.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Friday's Sunday's Poems: The Complete List

Friday's Sunday's Poems:


1: Blur

2: The Afternoon Sun.

3: The Alien

4: Believing In Iron

5: It was raining in Delft

6: Spring is like a perhaps hand.

7: We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts, not breaths.

8: Ozymandias.

10. At The Zoo

11. Zozo-ji
12. Do you want affidavits?

13. Poetry

14. Playgrounds

15: I felt a funeral, in my brain (280)

16: 3 Poems About Moms

17: Why Latin Should Still Be Taught In High School

19: Counting.

20: If

21: Father Outside

22: Reading Moby-Dick at 30,000 Feet.

23: "Do You Have Any Advice For Those Of Us Just Starting Out?"

24: Painting A Room.

25: To Help The Monkey Cross The River,

25... er, again: Did I Miss Anything?

26: God Says Yes To Me

27: Gee, You're So Beautiful That It's Starting To Rain

28: The Green One Over There.

29: Cartoon Physics, Part 1

30: Walking to Oak-Head Pond, and Thinking of the Ponds I Will Visit in the Next Days and Weeks

31: Painted red (and two others!)

32: Forgotten Planet

33. Whales Weep Not!

34. Bluebird/As The Poems Go

35. Dandelion

36. Annabel Lee

37. A Mandolin For Your Thoughts

38. Sir Galahad: A Christmas Mystery.
39. Paradox

40. Christmas In India

41. [? untitled] e e cummings poem

42. Rearranged.

43. Two poems about bus shelters from the Bard of Sneinton.

44. A Lady Who Thinks She Is Thirty

45. Fourth Floor, Dawn, Up All Night Writing Letters.

46. The Danger of Writing Defiant Verse.

47. A list of some observation...

48. I Do, I Will, I Have

49. Happiness

50. Ars Poetica

51. Daddy Fell Into The Pond.
52. When I Was A Bird.
53. Summer In A Small Town.
54. My Childhood-Home I See Again.
55. Poet's Work
56. Aeneid I, 430-37
57. The Secret Heart
58. Colin
59. The Straightforward Mermaid.
60. Russian Girl on Parizska
61. Life Is Fine
62. Caboose Thoughts.
63. Polka.
64. The Hymn of a Fat Woman.
65. The Pool Players. Seven At The Golden Shovel.
66. Untitled LeBron James Poem.
67. A Poem Written Because The New Yorker Rejected My Poem.
68. Ladies And Gentlemen In Outer Space.
69. it was just a little while ago.

71. Autumn Begins in Martins Ferry, Ohio

72. Restaurant.

73. Three Super Bowl poems from Middle School kids.

74. True Love

75. Let America Be America Again

76. Basketball

77. White Stallions.

78. The Walrus and the Carpenter

79. Democracy

80. Triolet on a Line Apocryphally Attributed to Martin Luther

81. The Logical Conclusion.

82. The Summer I Was Sixteen

83. Love Pirates.

84. Marcus MilsapLink: School Day Afternoon.

85. Away Days

86. A Poem For Albert Haynesworth, Composed Entirely of Media Descriptions.

87. The crowds cheered as gloom galloped away.

88. A Rabbit As King Of The Ghosts.

89. Getting It Right.

90. Moonlight

91. A Poem For Sir Paul McCartney

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Sweetie's Hunks of the Week!/Hunks of the Moment

All Of Sweetie's Hunks Of The Week & Hunks of the Moment, The Way You Like Them: In Numerical Order!

1: Simon Baker

2: Martin Henderson

3: Viggo Mortensen

7: Jamie Bamber.

8: Jensen Ackels

9: Dispute of the Week: Robert Pattinson/William Fichter

8, again? Who numbers these things? Owen Wilson

9, again? Let's get it together, man! Rick Springfield.

12? Ryan Reynolds

13: Tom Welling (A Guy You Never Heard Of From Smallville)

14: Alex O' Laughlin (who?)

15: Christopher Meloni

16: Andy Samberg

17: Dane Cook

18: Bailey Chase

19: Jason Patric.

20: Bradley Cooper.

21: Will Smith.

22: Logan Marshall Green.

23: Chris Hardwick

24: Gerard Butler

25: Josh... um.. Stewart.

26: Tom Cavanagh

27: The Guy Who Played "Mordor" On "Better Off Ted."

28: Tony Goldwyn

29. Thomas Calabro

30. Bobby Campo

31. Charlie Hunnam

Hunks continue after this word from me...

Just Exactly How Life Looks : a book of short stories in which you'll be introduced to unforgettable people living remarkable lives.

Cowboys wander in a timeless desert.

Scientists meet in secret to plot a new way to get attention, and money, from people.

A man and his would-be lover try to find lions on safari, and more.

The people and places in this book spring to life fully-formed and full of anxiety and imagination. They worry about the time they have had and the time they have left. They bury their loved ones and look for new friends. They talk and laugh and hope and cry and die, while their friends and family and enemies and Gods watch them, seeing, in their faces and actions and fears, a portrait of just exactly how life looks.

Buy it on, or download it for $0.99 on your e-reader.

4: Taye Diggs

5& 6: Co-Hunks Joel McHale & Jason Bateman

32. Juan Martin Del Potro.

33. Wentworth Miller.

Update On Jensen.

34. Louis C.K.

35. Matthew Bomer.

36. Jesse Williams

37. Jonathan Jackson

38. Mark Wahlberg

39. Kyle Chandler

40. Chuck Wicks

41. Giovanni Ribisi

42. Nathan Fillion

43. James Franco

44. Daughtry (the whole band)

45. Matthew Morrison

46. Reggie Bush

47. Clark Gregg

48. Oliver Martinez

49. Sam Worthington.

50. Dave Annabele

51. Jamie Oliver.

52. Ryan Kwanten

53. Linus Roache

54. Cam Gigandet

55. Ty Burrell

56. Mike Vogel

57. Robby Benson

58. Isaiah Mustafa

59. David Lyons.

60. Joe Penny

61. Taylor Kitsch

62. Robert Downey, Jr.

63. Timothy Olyphant

64. Thorsten Kaye.

65. Max Ryan.

Hunks continue after this word from me:

Claudius wanted to be the first man to reach the stars... and maybe he was.

In a stunning psychological horror work, "Eclipse" unfolds slowly, beginning with Claudius drifting through space after something has gone wrong with his mission. As he stares at the only thing he can see, a tiny rock off in space, he mulls the events that led him here, reflecting on his childhood and the mission-turned-into-murder. Or did things go bad? In "Eclipse" s the story, the reader is treated to a twisting, constantly changing landscape created by Claudius' own mind, as version after version of what-might-have-happened pile on. One thing is clear, though: Something has gone wrong, and Claudius may never reach the stars. Or will he?

Read Eclipse by purchasing it at Or get it on your Kindle for as little as $0.99.

Hunks of the Moment:

1. Alan Dale.

2. Henry Thomas

3. Nacho Figueras

4. Ed O'Neill

5. Daniel Tosh

6. Michael Wilding

Like what you've read here? Check out my collection of essays and stories:

Thinking The Lions, and 117* Other Ways To Look At Life (*Give Or Take)

Buy it on!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Quotes of the Day:

All the Quotes of The Day! Or at least links to them!

Don't worry, chicken, you're going in the oven.

66. I give you People's Sexiest Man Alive, 2027.

65. I expect this story to be optioned into a multimilliondollar movie franchise by the end of the day. (Spoiler Alert: It didn't happen.)

64. Dogs speak English, of course.

63. It doesn't LOOK comfortable, but who am I to judge?

62. It moved.

61. Sweetie's urban background.

60. It's Oldest's Birthday!

59. Today you will learn a word in a new language

58. Elefino!

57. Well, it should have been named this.

56. Roosters don't live in rainforests.

55. Sweetie's right, but I can't let her know that.

54. What do you say when someone had a birthday?

53. After New Year's Sales.

52. You'd think I'd remember a made-up guy.

51. The Boy needs to not talk about stuff.

50. Sweetie makes up a word.

49. Sweetie's more than a homemaker.

48. Apparently, we're running a hardware store now.

47: This is my dinner conversation

46. Sweetie reaches her goal.

45. Mr Bunches is not a zoologist.

44. Newton didn't say this first, did he?

43. He's ready for law school. Or politics.

42. I hereby apologize to Sweetie.

41. Isn't "okra" a kind of animal from South America?

40. He wants to look cool.

39: The library of the damned.

38: Tiny bubbles...

37: Time travel.

36: I am nowhere near as bad as the kids.

35: Towels.

34: Angsty.

33: Singing...

32: Googlipantz

31: Mango Smoothie.

30: Book Deal.

29: Nose Spider.

28: Leo.

29, um, again: Pizza? Mop?

28, um, again: Joe Theisman...

27: Old guys.

26: Dog food or beef jerky?

25: Matt Stafford is not suffering.

24: Computer Washer.

23: Button his shirt...

22: How you know you did a good job.

21: Lozenge.

20: The library as a friend.

19: Spring?

18: Creepy.

17: He never really got Disney cartoons.

16. Sweetie wants the Babies to drink...

15. Muppety

14. No strikes in the cookie aisle

13. Never a supercollider

12. Love is...

11. Han Solo vests

10. Dipthong

9. Not, technically, a quote.

8. The Boy thinks highly of himself.

7, but I labeled it 9: A quote from Demetri Martin.

6. Superbowl.

7, but there's already a 7, right? Snow & adolescence

6. Again? Here's a quote from Ben Franklin.

5. Homer says.

4. Ring Lardner says.

3. Procrastination...

2. Proving my father-in-law wrong

1. Envy & disquiet

Like what you read?

Thinking The Lions, and 117* Other Ways To Look At Life (*Give Or Take)

Collects up my best essays about life -- essays that aren't on here anymore.

Click here to buy it (and my other books!.