Thursday, March 26, 2015

There is no better way to demonstrate how awful the world is....

This 8-year-old volunteered to
make a sandwich for me. THAT IS
... than by noting that we live in a country in which people can afford (a) to own cats, which are basically expensive decorations that cost more money as time goes on*

*I kind of get it, we used to own three cats, one of which I was directly responsible for purchasing, and also we have kids, which are kind of the same principal only they are more expensive and more destructive to your soul but less decorative. Still the point is valid

 and (b) to feed those cats things like Fancy Feast etc etc and also (c) those Americans then can go out to restaurants and pay good money to eat fish, which is disgusting already but paying for it is worse, and (d) ALL OF THOSE THINGS ARE MADE POSSIBLE BY SLAVE LABOR.

An AP report which I read excerpted on Gawker details how the people who catch a lot of the fish you and your cat eat work 20-22 hours a day, drink dirty water, live in cages and, if they misbehave, they are whipped with stingray tails.

YUM FISH.  It's the tears of the dead people who produced it that give it that special flavor.

I can be high-handed (?)(Is that a thing?) about this because I'm reasonably sure that nothing I eat/wear/use was made by slave labor.  After all, I get most of my stuff from Target and Wal-Mart.  Nothing wrong with those two fine corporations, right? But still, fish is gross, and you are probably gross if you go on eating it after reading this.  If you must have a cat, feed it mice like God/cartoons intended.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015


So the first one to post everything between the lines (or a reasonable facsimile but you've got to incldue the book cover) on their blog gets an advanced reader copy of my new book FOR FREE:


Here is the cover for Briane Pagel's new scifi thriller Codes, available April 1 for preorder through Golden Fleece Press.

Find out more about this book by following Briane on Twitter:


Or check out his blog:

Thinking The Lions:


Don't let me down, you three people who regularly read this blog!  It's all in your hands, now.

I'll determine who is first by who is the first commenter to say they are first and then I'll verify and ARGLEBARGLE LAWYER TALK.


CODES is the story that began it's life being called Find Out Who You Are; I mentioned it way way back in September 2014. It is, as I described it to the publisher when I submitted it... a book? I can't remember exactly what I said it was so I'll paraphrase:

It's a scifi thriller set in a world where corporations have found a way to clone humans quickly, and to download personalities into them -- personalities that can be tweaked to make the person exactly the way you want them to be.  

Is there a small  band of desperate individuals hatching an insane plan to bring down the massive corporation against all odds? YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO READ IT TO FIND OUT.  Also, yes, there is.  

Remember, the book is CODES.  You can pre-order it on April 1 from Golden Fleece Press.  Mark that date on your calendar! Actually, it's probably already on your calendar. So just maybe make a mental note of it.

Overly Aggressive Marketing: Day 1

Monday, March 23, 2015

"Oh somewhere in this favoured land the sun is shining bright."

 But not in Wisconsin, where we are just entering our 273rd consecutive month of winter.

Mr Bunches woke up this morning, looked out the window and started crying.  "It's supposed to be grass," he said before insisting that we call "the snow plow man" and then "the water man," to make the snow go away.

I try to take the long view.  When global warming finally melts the last of the polar ice caps, Wisconsin is going to be tropical and probably located right on the coast of the brand new megaocean.  I got my future seafront property at a bargain price.