Saturday, September 10, 2011

Everything looks more significant in black and white, 2: (A Photo Essay)

Alternate post title: "Pictures I Took On My Date Last Night With Sweetie, Not Including Pictures Of Sweetie Because She Made Me Promise Not To Post The One I Took Of Her."

You know what's a match for a good blaster? Bustin' a move. (Life With Unicorns.)

Mandatory Star Wars Reference:

That's the toy Mr Bunches got at the Dollar Store today when I went to get a new pair of headphones, which, surprisingly, you can get at the Dollar Store ("Your one-stop shop for Jedi weapons and off-brand electronics.")

I'd worry that his glee in smashing things with his lightsaber would mean he's headed for the Dark Side, but this:

Alleviates any concerns I had.

Friday, September 09, 2011

a pale moon path just for me (Friday's Sunday's Poem/Hot Actress)


About the poem: So I went looking for a poem about space because I'm going to start a new project today that came about in a superweird way; it's called IO9 and you can find it here. And I was looking for one that would convey some beauty and majesty of space, but then I came across this one, and it was printed exactly like that on the screen and I kept the way it was formatted, and I loved it -- both the way the poem makes the path and the image of the pale moon path on the lawn, so I went with it because sometimes you just got to follow your gut, you know?

About the Actress:  So as not to mess up the formatting of the poem, I put her down here.  It's Adele, and Sweetie suggested that I put her on here this week, which is (technically speaking) breaking every rule of the Hot Actress (in that Adele is neither an actress nor about 30), but what Sweetie wants, Sweetie gets, and Sweetie is a huge Adele fan.  So there she is.

Monday, September 05, 2011

We live in America! Says Middle. (What The H?)

What the H? is formerly Stuck In The Middle. I'm renaming it as of today, which is okay because technically I was going to post this yesterday but what are you complaining about? You get this stuff free. Don't make me call out the dogs. Or the bees. Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at you...

Here's Middle Daughter's latest report on her life:

To Hate or Not To Hate…that is the question…

So I just moved into a new apartment…YAY my first apartment and my first place that I can call MINE. I don’t have to come home to three obnoxious roommates that scream and yell and imitate Jersey Shore. It is great to come home and have my cat greet me with a “Hello.” I live on the third floor and my apartment faces my parking lot where there are a lot of interesting people and events that take place. Let’s just say that I do not live in the greatest neighborhood.

For those of you who may not know me (And there are many people that don’t) I am a very un-shy and weird individual. I am not one to hold on to something that bothers me, nor am I someone that will not break out into song or dance when her favorite song comes on the radio. I have been known to breakdance while driving. When I feel like busting a move I let loose.

Those thoughts bring me to my next story about a woman that reminds me of me.

So I am sitting in my apartment on my couch looking out the window “people watching.” I have mastered that hobby so far. (Yes I consider “people watching” a hobby.) Anyways, I am sitting on my couch and I am scouting out the parking lot and I notice this women dancing in her car. And I don’t mean just doing the “disco arms” or “vogue-ing”, I mean she was all-out shimmying and shaking her butt. I started to laugh a little bit because I do the exact same things. I mean I don’t do them in the parking lot or while I am waiting in line at the bank but it was awesome to see that there are people out there that are like me and aren’t afraid to “get jiggy” with it in public.

I loved the fact that this woman felt comfortable enough with who she was to let everything go in such a public place. I am like her and I was so happy to see that there are other people out there that are like me. I think that there should be more people out there willing to compromise what other people think of them in order to express who they are.

Also referring to the person that I am: I am a person that is very concerned with hygiene. I am the type of person that has to shower at least once a day; otherwise I feel like I have mold growing on me. (I have actually met and worked with someone who did in fact have mold growing on them but that is another story for another day.) I am also the type of person that cannot and will not go camping unless there is a restroom on the campsite that has a working toilet WITH toilet paper.

With those thoughts in mind I will tell you all a wee little story that has changed my outlook on the human race.

Again, I am in my apartment and I am people watching while also picking out a movie to watch. As I am not seeing much action around my building or in my parking lot, I decide to pay more ample attention to my movie. But while I am watching the movie I decide to turn and glance out my window, and I regret that decision as soon as I make it because there was a man with his pants around his ankles urinating in the lawn.

It is three in the afternoon and he is in the middle of the lawn peeing.

What the H?

It upset me and made me realize that I hate at least SOME people because I have walked through that lawn barefoot and I have seen children play on that lawn. Argh… it was disgusting and utterly disturbing.

Since then, I have not walked through the lawn with or without shoes.

It frightens me that people (more specifically that man) think that it is okay to drop your drawers and pull out your equipment and spread your urine all over the world. Come on people, we live in America. We have running water as well as public bathrooms. It made me want to open my window and yell out “Where is your mother?!!!!!”

So watch where you step people…there may be a puddle and it’s NOT agua (that is Spanish for water for those of you who speak French or German)!!

Sunday, September 04, 2011


Just sixteen days from when I may take a bite of the Twinkie, and while SCIENCE marches on, it marches on imperceptibly, at least so far as I can tell. Here's the Twinkie today, still bravely soldiering despite the fact that it is forced to live in close proximity to Control Group, who also is still bravely soldiering on despite having been accidentally cut in half by one of my Experiments of SCIENCE:

Time for observations:

1. When I took that picture, I had not yet changed my desk calendar over from August to September.

2. I've done that now.

3. My desk calendar used to be my wall calendar, but one day Mr F tried to climb behind my desk, perhaps because he was doing some SCIENCE of his own, and he popped the wall calendar off the wall, and now I can only find one of the push pins necessary to hold up the wall calendar, so I've made it a desk calendar.

4. I did not even find the pushpin when I cleaned my office last week.

5. The Twinkie, which really is the point of this experiment, and which I'm supposed to be Observationing right now, isn't doing anything.

So let's expose it to some MORE SCIENCE via EXPERIMENTS:

Here is the Twinkie with its original guardian, Wind-Up Chicken, and although I didn't plan it this way, the picture was made somewhat more exciting/SCIENTIFIC by the fact that it is, inexplicably, sideways and I cannot figure out how to rotate it.

Note that the Twinkie's texture is completely unchanged. There is no mold on the Twinkie, and it looks the same as it ever did. It's hard to the touch, but otherwise has not changed at all.

I think it's mummified.

Other EXPERIMENTS: What would the Twinkie do if it were attacked by a dinosaur and the atmosphere made everything seem old-timey? Let's find out:

The Twinkie would play dead until the dinosaur went away.

Supplemental observations of SCIENCE:

1a. The Twinkie is exhibiting signs of intelligent behavior, as demonstrated in that last EXPERIMENT.

1b. I don't know why I bother coming into my office on Sundays if I'm not going to do anything productive.

1c. Although if I only came to the office when I was going to be productive, I would not be employed anymore. Or I would be employed but I would never come into the office.

1d. I have pixie sticks in my office. Just thought I'd mention that.

Has it really been 21 days since I last checked in on the Twinkie? Seems so: here's day 63.