Tuesday, January 30, 2007

What Thinking The Lions Means...

Thinking The Lions originally started out as a place for me to tell stories about my life and what I thought about those things; I decided, the time I tried to buy a refrigerator and it went badly, that I could either get upset about things, or laugh about them. I tried to laugh about them, and Thinking The Lions became a code, in my mind, for trying to make the best of a bad situation. Here's all the essays that help show how to be always Thinking The Lions:

Silence is golden, which means I am the world's richest man.

Life Is One Big Spearfish Falls, and other reasons I missed a week of work.

My toaster is still insufficiently cool, but now it's mocking me.

Of silly computers, time-travel, and, most importantly, ME.

Purple is a fruit. (a/k/a, I'm really trying to be healthy.)

The best laid plans of mice and men sometimes lead you to inadvertently learn how to classify apples.

Mr Bunches' Victory Garden, or how I learned to stop worrying and love my yard.

Lunchmeat that isn't, a scatological zebra joke, and khaki pants: This post has EVERYTHING.

What We Really Need Are More Songs With A "Yodel Outro."

I Think I Set A World Record For Almost Dying.

The Pancakes of Time Get Their Revenge

Be afraid. Be very... well, be at least mildly afraid, and then overreact, possibly by high-fiving for Jesus.

The Grasshopper and The Ice Cream

The Jammed Ketchup Bottle Move, and Other Graduation Memories.

Just Another Routine Story

Now is the time for all good men and women to come to the aid of... me.

Has Anyone Ever Stopped To Consider That I Might Be Pro-Oxidant?

He's An Extraordinary Machine.

Maybe You Could Order A Few To Tide You Over.

Praise You Like A Shoe.

I Wish I Was A Muppet

Unraveling The Mysteries Of Life

Compared To This, Snake Canyon Was Nothing

But The Hardest Thing To Do Is Sing It The Way They Wrote It

Five Bucks for A Bottle Of Wine? You Can Tell Sweetie Picked A Winner.

The Egg Salad Incident

Also Broke Zarathustra

If you strike me down, I shall only become more powerful.

Sweetie and I Go To A Midnight Movie.

The Surprise Is That There's No Surprise.

What I'm Doing For The Holidays

Charity Begins At Home, Travels To The Grocery Store, Then Goes Back Home Again To Fall Asleep.

The Septathlon: Me vs. The Kids.




Like what you read here? Check out my collection of published essays:

Thinking The Lions, and 117* Other Ways To Look At Life (*Give Or Take)

Buy it here.