Friday, December 09, 2016

Everyone involved in this story is getting exactly what they deserve. It's a Xmas Miracle!

We have only one time ever bought the "hot toy" for a kid when it came out: long ago we got up really early and went and waited to buy a Playstation Portable for The Boy, who really wanted one. I don't recall that it made a Golden Light from Heaven (TM) shine down on us or anything, so probably it wasn't really worth even that minimal effort.

I think parents who overpay for toys are stupid, and I think parents who place such an emphasis on providing material things to their kids that they do anything more than some minimal effort to get them a toy they want are probably not good parents.  But people that take advantage of the dumb & desperate (TM) are just as bad, which is why I found this news to be The True Meaning Of Xmas:

Author Buys Up $23,500 Worth Of Hatchimals And Parents Are Furious

Says the Huffington Post headline. Cue the Xmas music: *All I want for Xmas is... * 

as we come on a montage of shop windows dusted with snow amid bustling shoppers who pass to and fro,  their happy arms laden with gifts for their wives and gifts for their children to brighten their lives.

But wait, what's that discordant sound that I hear? A stampede of parents all shouting in fear

Some people turn to bake sales or GoFundMe accounts to raise money. But for author Sara Gruen, she looked to this season’s must-have children’s toy.
Gruen, who wrote the New York Times best-selling novel “Water for Elephants,” is facing online fury among parents after buying up $23,500 worth of Hatchimal toys only to resell them at higher prices as a so-called fundraiser,

"We can't let her do that!" their voices cry out, as far and away all the parents do shout. "OUR KIDS need those toys, need them now, don't you see? Without them, what can we put out under our tree?"

Hatchimals, which are Furby-like birds that pop out of eggs, first hit shelves with a price tag of $49.99 but have since ballooned to more than $200, making it a nightmare for cash-strapped parents to get their hands on for the holidays.
Gruen insists her price hike on the more than 150 toys is not for personal gain and that any profit made will go towards the $150,000 she has spent towards trying to free a man behind bars. She didn’t identify the man but told Philly Voice that he will be the focus of a “Making A Murderer”-type documentary series she’s working on.

A sketchy fund-raiser, an author whose pages haven't been on the best-seller lists for, like ages? A scandal is brewing, with parents and toys and Amazon policies all making noise!

In a Facebook post announcing her toys’ sale, Gruen wrote that the moment she first heard about Hatchimals she saw the next Cabbage Patch Kids doll. In the days following Black Friday she went to work buying them up, despite the toys already selling for well over their original market value.
“I figured I could still sell them at a profit and put a dent in the extremely hefty lawyer fees I’m accruing in my fight to get the wrongfully convicted man’s case back before the Supreme Court. So far, so good, right?” she wrote.
She said her cloaked fundraiser hit trouble, however, when she tried to resell the toys on eBay, only to learn that the website limits individuals’ Hatchimal sales to three per week. Other websites like Amazon and Bonanza had similar regulations.

Hey lady, that's not what Xmas is about! Xmas isn't getting some murderer out. It's not about profits and lawyers and fees: it's about all these parents whose presents you've seized!  These parents, they just want to show that they care, and this toy will get those kids out of their hair! That's why they'll pay as much as double the price, but asking for triple? Well: that's just not nice.  You'll get your comeuppance, get payback galore, for this Hatchimal plan has made Xmas a WAR!

Fearing “financial ruin,” as she called it, she turned to a Facebook plea for Hatchimal-hunters to visit her Shopify site where they’re listed for $189 each.
“I have a fortune invested, only one venue to offload them, and in only three weeks they will magically transform into useless pumpkins that will take up space in my office FOREVER, and have caused my financial ruin,” she wrote in her Facebook plea.
It’s not clear exactly how many she purchased. Her Facebook page states 166 though the Philly Voice reported 156. Based on those numbers, if she sells all of them, she should pull in approximately $29,000 or $31,000, respectively. After subtracting the amount she paid per toy (not including taxes if it’s not already included), her estimated profit would be around $6,000 or $7,000.
Though many people appear to have reached out to her to snag one of the furry creatures ― some of the toys on her Shopify site are listed as “sold out” ― others have expressed anger while accusing her of “exploiting families” and “preying off desperation” before the holidays. 

Sure we all thought it funny when Dwight pulled this trick, but that was The Office and that was Dwight's schtick. In real life, things like this just aren't that funny, using your Facebook to take all their money. You're worse than Sylvester McMonkey McBean: maybe we should shove you in your Star-Off Machine!

We won't take this sitting down, ma'am, we just can't. Why, we'll go on Facebook and post up a RANT! That will (we are sure) change your miserly ways: we'll hit you from all sides, we'll post them for days! We'll talk about charities, parents and kids, about what you are not and 'bout what Xmas is:

and when its all over, the dust has all settled, when we're huddling in Starbucks (TM) feeling nettled, when Xmas is nearing and we've got no toys, no Hatchimals magic for our girls and boys, we'll look to the sky and see star after star, blazing with glory from near and from far. We'll all join our hands and we'll all start to sing, remembering Xmas is not about things, it's not about presents and who can get what, it's not about buying or spending a lot
HA HA we're just kidding, that's all a nice thought, all that singing and starlight and love and what not. But this is America, 2016, and people are greedy and stupid and mean.
God bless us, every one! 


Andrew Leon said...

Now I want one of those things for Christmas!

(Kidding! I'm kidding!)

Briane Pagel said...

I suggest you wait about 3 weeks, and then buy them all from Gruen for about twenty bucks.