Tuesday, January 31, 2012

1001 Levers To Move The World, Number Seventy-Nine

This was previously titled 1001 ways to fine-tune the world, but I changed it.
79: Let's get a uniform system for saying, and repeating, numbers, addresses and the like.

This JUST HAPPENED to me, and it happened twice already today, so there is clearly a need for this lever.

Here's what I'm talking about. I say to you "I'll give you my email address, are you ready?"

And you say: "Yeah," because you're ready.

And I say "Okay, it's thetroublewithroy,"

And then all heck breaks loose, in a very minor way, because one of several reactions happens then:

I might pause to let you take that down, while you write it down without saying anything, in which case I'll wonder if you heard me and might say "Did you get that?" or I might start on the next portion of it.

Or you might begin to repeat what I've told you to confirm that you heard it correctly, thereby talking over me as I go on to the next portion of the address.

Or we might do both and repeatedly stumble over each other as we try to sort out who should be talking about what, a verbal dance similar to what happens when two people meet in a narrow hall.

Earlier today, I had to take down a phone number from a guy on the phone, and here (with the exception of a fake number being inserted) is exactly what happened:

Me: Okay, go ahead.

Him: 1-555 [pause]

Me: 1-555... [pause]

Him: [Starting to talk as I began to repeat his numbers during pause] 867-

Me: What?

Him: What?

Me: I got...

Him: Let me begin again.

And so on.

So here's what I say: everytime you have to dictate something for someone to right down, pause at each natural break, after which that person will repeat what you said, and then you'll go on.

So it'd be:

Speaker: 1-555

Listener: 1-555

Speaker: 867

Listener: 867

Speaker: 5309.

Listener: 5309.

Prior entries:Link

13. Ban driving any kind of automobile, motorcycle or other personal vehicle within 1-2 miles of downtown in any city with a population of more than 100,000.

12. Abolish gym class; instead, teach kids to play musical instruments.

11. Change copyright laws to allow anyone to use anyone else's creative work provided that the copier pay 60% of the profit to the originator and that the copier not cast the original work in a negative light.

10. Have more sidewalk cafes and outdoor seating.

9. When you have to give someone a gift, ask them what they want, and then get that thing for them.

8. Never interrupt or finish someone's jokes.

7. Periodically, give up something you like for at least a month.

6. Switch to "E-money."

5. Have each person assigned one phone number, and then add an extension for the various phones and faxes that person might be reached at.

4. Abolish Mondays and Tuesdays.

3. Don't listen to interviews with athletes or comedians.

2. Have "personal cashiers" at the grocery store.

1. Don't earn more than $200,000 per year.

Is this working? You bet --

1001 Ways also helped change the world here!


1001 Ways also helped change the world here!


1001 Ways helped change the world here, too!

here, I not only changed the world but proved that everyone in the world is either dumb, or mean.

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