Saturday, May 26, 2012

An Ode To The McDonald's Cheeseburger: An Epic Poem of Conquest, Angels, Cheeseburgers, and The End Of The World. (Part 1) (Friday's Sunday's Poem)

One day when I woke up I had a great thought,
And I said to myself well I really had ought
to follow that thought or that thought was for naught...

And so I went outside and sang to the Heavens*:
 *To the tune of the one part of Beethoven's 9th symphony that everyone knows
because everybody knows Angels only speak symphonese:

Come now angels gather 'round me
Harken to the words I say.
I am composing one great ode
to the humble cheeseburger
I ate yesterday.

I want to make a poem about McDonald's Cheeseburgers
An epic rhyming feat about my lunch.

And I want it to be the greatest thing in history.
If you'll help me that's what it'll be.

And the skies they split open with such a great noise
That I trembled lest all the tumult wake the boys!
For the boys, woke by noise, would want to play toys.

And so I said to the Heavens keep it down. 

Then the first Angel reached me and said with stern tone
For this task you call to our Heavenly home?
The home where we roam in our robes and coron'*
*Sometimes apparently angels speak in regular verse and also they are not good with rhyming. Corona is a synonym for halo.  Don't feel bad. I had to look it up, too.

And so I said: Well, yeah. And then added*
*this time to the tune of Habanera from Carmen

Who else was I 
Supposed to call on
For this great task I
embark upon?

The angels on high
Are aptly suited
To help this guy
Achieve his masterpiece

In fact, if you think
About what I ask
You'll come to see it is 
the perfect task.

The more you ponder
My humble request
It seems a wonder
You don't think you're best.

 By now other Angels had reached our tableau
And they looked at each other and shrugged just like so*
*picture an Angel shrugging. It's magnificent!
Just so did they shrug and they turned then to go.

And so I grabbed the first one by the arm.

And that Angel he spun his face angry and twisted
You dare so to touch me? You should have desisted!
Now desist your resisting or face painful dismissing!

And so I said: No. I need you.


1 comment:

Andrew Leon said...

You really need an illustrator for these things.