Monday, August 13, 2012

THAT'S THE FACT, JACK! (Project 190, Day Thirty-Five)

So everyone thinks I should just take a day off?


Okay, that speech didn't really fit.  How about this one?


No, that's the exact opposite of what I was looking for.

Anyway, I can't take a day off.  I'm 43 years old.  My body has been taking days off for years.

When you're 20, and you work out, your body kicks it into high gear in 0.00002 seconds (that's a Science Fact!).  You can lose weight, when you're in your 20s, by just existing.  A 20-year-old can burn calories ordering a beer at a bar.


But in your forties?  It's impossible.  By now, my metabolism has given up.  When I eat vegetables or fruits, my body is all "Eh, what's the point? He's probably going to wash it down with some Cap'n Crunch, so just send 'em on through."  Meanwhile, 98% of my cells are made of pizza and sugared cereal and Butterfingers, so when those things pass my teeth, all their former buddies are there saying "Hey, why don't you hang around a decade or so and we'll see how crazy it makes this guy when he somehow feels hungry despite having tons of fat stored up!"

(Which is how you know that at least some Science Facts, like "Your Body Stores Fat In Case It Gets Hungry" are wrong: if that was true, your body would never get hungry until you were out of fat, so either scientists, or your body, or both, are lying to you.)

So I have to make my body think it's 20 again.  Or make it realize that until it gets into shape, this continues and I'll be up at 5:45 every day.

Today's workout: Biking, level 3, 25:00.
Latest weight: 253.
Today's motivational song that I didn't listen to while I biked because my iPod battery wore down; lately it is impossible for me to keep all my electronics charged up.  I can't get my body to lose weight, but I can get my gadgets to shed electricity. Nice:










4 comments:

PT Dilloway, Superhero Author said...

I don't know if you should take days off or not but maybe you should talk to a doctor about it. They get paid for that kind of shit.

Briane P said...

Doctors, Schmocters (to quote Thomas Jefferson.)

They've never helped me in the past. That's why I'm Thinking Myself Healthy.

Andrew Leon said...

It's not that -I- think you should take a day off; I was just saying that there is some research that supports that. I think you should do what's best for you. :P

Rusty Webb said...

I believe there is a weight loss video entitled: Smoke Yourself Thin. If it didn't work I'm sure they wouldn't have made the video.

Plus I think it was hosted by Troy McClure. So it's a double bonus.