Monday, June 24, 2013
So we drove by this parking lot...
"That's where Middle's husband is joining to work out," Sweetie said. "He's going to pay $25 per month to work out in a van."
"He's not working out in a van," I said. "That's just an ad for the club they're opening."
"Are you sure?" Sweetie asked. "I thought because it said 'Express' they were working out in that thing."
"I'm sure," I said. "They're not working out in the van. Nobody works out in a van. Imagine: 'Hi, I'm Don, and this is my Workout Van." "Uh, Don, this is just a van with some old barbells in it." "No, it's a van with barbells... express." "Don, why don't you have pants on?" "Express."
Sweetie wants me to prove the workout 'express' is not in the van itself. I believe my skit did that perfectly.
Also: I think Don's Workout Express Van is a franchise that could catch on.
I've got lots of imaginary conversations to help market it. Like this one.
"Don, is that your laundry over there?"
"That? Naw: that came with the van when I bought it off Craigslist. Mind if I put on some Foghat?"
UPDATE: After reading this, Sweetie got into the spirit of it and offered her own Don Conversation (or DonVersation)(TM) :
"Don, didn't your ad say there's a swimming pool?"
"Sure. Well, there's a toilet."
"Why is there a toilet in a van?"