Friday, January 03, 2014

The Campaign Against The Letter "X" Begins! (Overthinking Stuff)

I have for a long time now maintained that we need to clean up the alphabet, and we should begin with getting rid of the most annoying letter, "X."

What purpose does "X" serve? NONE. There is nothing that "X" can do that a "Z" or a "ks" cannot do.  Or, put another way:

"Xylophone" = "Zylophone".

But this is the last straw and therefore I am today officially starting a campaign to get rid of the letter X as a member of the alphabet.

The last straw being the latest in a series of stupid books about the alphabet.  Mr Bunches loves books about the alphabet, and loves alphabets, period: he knows alphabets for fruits, vegetables plants, amoebas (probably) and lots of other things.

In the past, I have noted that most books or songs or whatevers, when confronted with what word to use to demonstrate "X", choose "xylophone" or "X-ray," but some very stupidly/confusingly choose worse, like the song that when it gets to "x" says "x is for box."

NO, IT IS NOT.  Do we do that with ANY OTHER LETTER?  "N" is for "lion."  STUPID.

But this book which Mr Bunches brought home from school today and which I read and which now has my mind doing somersaults of rage, is the aforementioned last straw:



"X is for eX"?

So they've just given up.

They're not even trying anymore.

I can just picture the person writing this book:

"Let's see, N is for Nose, good good, hmmm, V is for Vegetable, really on a roll here, what about X? ...  X... X... X is for... X is for...."

*looks at watch, realizes that it's very nearly quitting time, scrawls down X is for X, goes on to live life in which he/she makes no discernible difference in anyone's life and probably also sneezes without covering his/her mouth, let's face it this is obviously a person who has no idea how societies ought to function....*

I CAN'T EVEN PICTURE THINGS PROPERLY.  That was supposed to be about four zillion times meaner and more sarcastic but honestly, my mind is halfway filled just with swear words.  I am TOTALLY SERIOUS about that: this has gotten me so mad that as my fingers type, my mind is just going

#(#*%&##(@#)@*(#(*%%&

over and over.

So can we FINALLY ADMIT we don't need "X"? FINALLY? And just give it up?

Or at least write angry letters to Little, Brown And Company, the publishers of "Museum ABC," from whence that travesty of an ecksample comes?


6 comments:

Liz A. said...

Algebra uses x. A lot.

Andrew Leon said...

Well, Liz is not wrong.

You sound like my reaction to Desolation.

And, by the way, I don't have a problem with -adapting- a book as a movie. But, when you say you are putting the -book- onscreen, you should do that. There is none of The Hobbit in Desolation, only Jackson.

Briane P said...

Liz, I'm not saying eliminate mathematical symbols (although algebra uses y and using "x" just means that kids eventually have to learn that "x" doesn't mean "multiply" and use that dot, instead, so let's get rid of it from algebra, too, and I'd better end this parentheses)

Andrew:

I think your reaction was still more visceral than mine.

I agree -- that probably didn't come across in my comment, but that was what I meant by the talk about using "The Hobbit" as a branding device.

Rusty Carl said...

Whoa... first off, X is awesome. Don't believe me, you try to spell Xerox without an X in it. Doesn't make sense. I mean, the first part does, but what about the last part, the 'ox' part. I guess it could be 'ocks', but then that would contradict MY vendetta against the letter 'k,' which is even more redundant than the X is. I mean, what can a K do that a C can't?

Nothing, that's what. And if if you did find something that a C can't do that a K can. I've got an ace in my back pocket.

The Q

Which, honestly, I think you could keep the K and let it do some of the Q's jobs, but, whatever.

Also, I'm with Liz, X is pretty important in Algebra. Although, I always though X was a charity case for Algebra, can't it solve it's own problems? I must have solved for X a thousand times.

Andrew Leon said...

It came across; I just wanted to make sure that you got that, generally, I don't have issues with some changes in an adaptation (like I thought the first Percy Jackson movie was vastly superior to the book (which I didn't actually like)) and, if Jackson had handled Hobbit in the same as he did LotR, I'm sure I would have liked it muchly.

My issue is with intent.

As I've said before, I would have (probably) liked Burton's Batman if he'd just called it The Joker.

Andrew Leon said...

Oh, and as for "X", well, we have it because of pirates. You will never defeat the pirate lobbying group to have "X" banned. What are you going to mark your spot with if not an "X"?