Tuesday, June 03, 2014

Kim and Kanye just want privacy remember and aren't going to talk about their wedding (Why I Hate People)

...which is why they are limiting themselves to tastefully and privately letting the world know that Kanye commissioned a painting of Kim, nearly naked, which he calls "My Queen Kim: Perfect Bitch."

And letting people see the picture.



All in the name of privacy, of course.  LEAVE THESE TWO LOVEBIRDS ALONE YOU MEDIA VULTURES WHO HAVE COME TO THE PRESS CONFERENCE THEY CALLED TO SHOW YOU THE NUDE PICTURES THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO WRITE ABOUT.




When you're done ogling Kim -- MEDIA VULTURE! -- you should write a time travel story and submit it to the IWM Indie-pendence Day Anthology! Deadline is June 15 and you can win cash and prizes.  First prize is you get to marry Kim Kardashian next $15 in Amazon gift cards!

8 comments:

Pat Dilloway said...

I should write a time travel story where I go back in time to prevent Kim Kardashian from making her famous sex tape. Then she'd probably be working at Hooters or a strip club today.

Andrew Leon said...

Can't we just make a time machine and do that? I'd really like to see the results of diverting that particular event.

Liz A. said...

So many jokes. So little time.

Robin said...

This made my migraine crank up another notch. Not your fault. I had fair warning about the topic from the title...

Briane Pagel said...

PT:

I don't think she's classy enough for Hooters.

Andrew:
How do we know whoever takes her place in pop culture wouldn't be worse?

Liz:
I know the feeling.

Robin:
Sorry! Imagine if you had the real painting in your room. Not enough headache medicine in the world.

Andrew Leon said...

We don't. It would be an experiment.

Nigel G. Mitchell said...

LOL, Pat. She would go back to what she was doing before the tape, which is being a "socialite" (translation: someone who keeps going out to clubs and nobody cares about).

That "I hate being famous" attitude from some celebrities annoys me. Kim Kardashian especially. Like you said, if you don't want people talking about you, don't hold press conferences or release stuff to the media. Don't go out to nightclubs in short skirts with no underwear. Kim infamously once posted to her Instagram photos of herself hiding from paparazzi...so she wouldn't be photographed...by paparazzi. Now I have a migraine, too.

Hey, if we ignore Kimye, will they go away?

Maurice Mitchell said...

LOL I won't write it, but they want people to respect their privacy when it's bad. All the other times they want to live on blimp with neon arrows flashing on them. Hypocrisy is funny.