Monday, January 05, 2015

So I Quit My Job Today.

I don't talk about it here all that much, but I've worked at the same law firm for the past 14 years, rising up from 'new guy' to shareholder, and then today, I turned in my resignation (effective later this week.)

As a lawyer, there are lots of things I can't say about the decision. Sorry to be that way, but that's the breaks. The rules of ethics breaks.

What I can say is that this isn't in any way a bad thing. In fact, given the reasons why I did this, it's possibly one of the best things I ever did.  I don't often talk about any troubles or worries or fears I have on this blog (or publicly), but like everybody else, I have troubles and fears and worries, and last year, 2014, was one of the worst for that kind of stuff.  I don't place much stock in the turning over of a calendar or the idea of a 'new' year; that said, though, this year really feels like just that: a brand new year, unlike any other I've had, at least for a long long time.

While every year has its surprises and its ups-and-downs, very rarely does a person get to look a new year squarely in the eye and say "This year is definitely going to be different." And now I get that chance.

I probably still won't talk all that much about what I'm doing day-to-day in my job (other than the occasional "I Get Paid For Doing This" post).  The rules of confidentiality on lawyers are pretty strict, so talking about my cases is pretty risky; and, honestly, while I find what I do incredibly exciting and compelling, very rarely does actual law practice become interesting to real people.  I've learned this through telling stories about hearings and trials to mixed groups of lawyers and nonlawyers: lawyers react at all the 'right' times. Nonlawyers nod politely and then go back to talking about interesting things.

(If you really are interested in what I actually think about 9-10 hours a day, you could always go read my law blog, which isn't probably a bad idea, since most of you probably spend money and/or deal with corporations, and so could benefit from knowing the ways to force people to pay you money for violating the law.)

Sometimes change is a gradual thing and it creeps up on you.  Sometimes change is a dramatic thing where one day you say something -- something like, say, "I ought to quit my job" -- and then you go do it.  (Not that day! You decide to do it and then you do it right and in a way that doesn't create extra troubles!)

I'm going to turn 46 this Friday. I can look back at 16,790 days of my life and feel that the vast majority of them have been well-spent.  And that was another big reason why I decided to make this change: there should never be a time in your life when you think "I am sorry for how this time has been spent." I came perilously close, in the past year, to having just that happen.  As someone who twice in the past four years has nearly died, and who has had numerous other serious scares for himself and one of his kids, too, in that time, I think I'm a little more cognizant of the need to not waste any of my life.

I'm happier today than I have been in a long time -- and I was pretty happy before, too, although the past year risked that happiness. I can't have that. So I fixed it.

I know this is rambling. I'm also more tired than I have been in a long time. It's a lot of work to do what I'm doing.  But totally worth it. Thanks for bearing with me.


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