Monday, January 25, 2010

1001 Ways To Tune Up The World: Number Fifty-Five

55. Make children's toys solar- or kinetic-powered.

We have solar-powered watches, calculators and cars. We have flashlights that can run for 45 minutes after being shaken for 30 seconds (as well as new batteries that power stuff for troops just by collecting power from the soldiers' everyday movements.) We even have the ability to transform the very clothes you're wearing into energy-carrying rechargeable batteries.

So why am I stuck changing batteries in the Babies!' Buzz Lightyear toy? What kind of world has adults wearing watches that never die, but lets children be sad because their dump truck no longer makes an engine sound?

Prior entries:

13. Ban driving any kind of automobile, motorcycle or other personal vehicle within 1-2 miles of downtown in any city with a population of more than 100,000.

12. Abolish gym class; instead, teach kids to play musical instruments.

11. Change copyright laws to allow anyone to use anyone else's creative work provided that the copier pay 60% of the profit to the originator and that the copier not cast the original work in a negative light.

10. Have more sidewalk cafes and outdoor seating.

9. When you have to give someone a gift, ask them what they want, and then get that thing for them.

8. Never interrupt or finish someone's jokes.

7. Periodically, give up something you like for at least a month.

6. Switch to "E-money."

5. Have each person assigned one phone number, and then add an extension for the various phones and faxes that person might be reached at.

4. Abolish Mondays and Tuesdays.

3. Don't listen to interviews with athletes or comedians.

2. Have "personal cashiers" at the grocery store.

1. Don't earn more than $200,000 per year.

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