Wednesday, January 26, 2011

1001 Ways To Tune Up The World, Number Seventy-Four

74. Stand-up comic radio over the airwaves.

As much as I like music, and as much as I like talk radio, I don't always want to listen to either of those -- especially when you consider that, increasingly, talk radio is made up of people being ordered to shoot people who think like me, or made up of washed-up actors doing a glorified podcast.

What I do like, a lot of times, is stand-up comedy. Many times, while cleaning the house, I'll put a comedian's show on Netflix on the computer, or go to Youtube to find clips of stand-up comedians I like, and play them while I'm doing my chores. I do that at work, too, where I can listen to a variety of "Comedy" radio stations over the Internet.

And on my iPod, I have loaded in some CDs of comedians I like, and can listen to them and clips from movies while I drive.

With all that, I began wondering, why isn't there a stand-up comedian radio channel? One that instead of music, or talk, would play bits from comedians, or snippets from movies or TV shows? I'd listen to that. Imagine if, on your commute in the morning, you could avoid listening to DJs making dumb jokes in between Avril Lavigne songs, and instead could listen to a bit from Mike Birbiglia, followed by a classic Richard Pryor:

DJ: "That was Bill Cosby's "Dentist," and coming up, we'll have Ricky Gervais on nursery rhymes. Now a word from our sponsor.

That'd be awesome. As would everything I think up. But particularly this.

Prior entries:

13. Ban driving any kind of automobile, motorcycle or other personal vehicle within 1-2 miles of downtown in any city with a population of more than 100,000.

12. Abolish gym class; instead, teach kids to play musical instruments.

11. Change copyright laws to allow anyone to use anyone else's creative work provided that the copier pay 60% of the profit to the originator and that the copier not cast the original work in a negative light.

10. Have more sidewalk cafes and outdoor seating.

9. When you have to give someone a gift, ask them what they want, and then get that thing for them.

8. Never interrupt or finish someone's jokes.

7. Periodically, give up something you like for at least a month.

6. Switch to "E-money."

5. Have each person assigned one phone number, and then add an extension for the various phones and faxes that person might be reached at.

4. Abolish Mondays and Tuesdays.

3. Don't listen to interviews with athletes or comedians.

2. Have "personal cashiers" at the grocery store.

1. Don't earn more than $200,000 per year.

Is this working? You bet --

1001 Ways also helped change the world here!


1001 Ways also helped change the world here!

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