Sweetie's Hunk of the Week, #3

Hunk of the Week 3: Viggo Mortensen

You/Sweetie Know Him As: Loving family man/psychotic killer in "A History of Violence" and "Eastern Promises."

I know him as: Aragorn! Thank you, Viggo Mortensen, for finally letting women have something, however tenuous, in common with nerdy guys who read The Lord of the Rings four times in their lifetime!

Reason I Tell Myself Sweetie Likes Him: He saved Middle Earth, resisted the temptation to put on the Ring, and was very kind to hobbits. What's not to like?

Actual Reason Sweetie Likes Him: "He's just so hunky."

Point I'd Like To Make About Sweetie's Reason For Liking Him: There is a scene in "Eastern Promises" that lasts what feels like fourteen hours, during which Viggo Mortensen is entirely, as the British say, starkers. And nothing is left to the imagination. Sweetie claims this is irrelevant to her listing him.

Hey, are you seeing a trend here at all? Me, too! Check out the hair! Hunk of the Week 2 here; and Hunk of the Week 1 here.

Something wick-ed this way comes. (It's a pun, and I'm not sorry.)

Where do you get your candles from? I bet you never gave it much thought, did you? I bet you just did what everybody does, and when you needed a candle, you went down across the river -- over that rickety foot bridge that nobody ever feels very safe on, if only because of the troll -- and into the flea market, but what kind of flea market is that, really? It's got all those werewolves roaming around, and everything smells like mint, and in between the tables of antiques there's always those used book sellers with paperback books printed in that weird language, the language that's only spoken by the three-armed blue people, and you only see those people at the flea market anyway, which is weird, too... plus, the last time you went there, they accidentally cloned you and now there's that trouble, too...

I've found a new way to get candles, so we can all breath a little easier -- literally; the mist at the "flea market" never seemed very... healthy did it? Toxic is more the word.

Instead of that, why not go to The Jar Store? Weird how normal and healthy that seems, isn't it? Why didn't we ever think of just having a Jar Store before? Would've saved a lot of trouble, now that I think of it, to have a place where you can just buy jars at wholesale without all the fuss.

We didn't think of it, but the folks at the Jar Store did, and they've got a website selling jars online -- and other kinds of candleware. The jars, the wax, the scents, the wicks, everything you need to just make your candles and get on with your life (without the clones!) and do so quickly and easily. You can sort through the scents and waxes right fast, as they say, and get down to ordering them. If you get stumped, there's a customer service rep waiting to help you by phone or email.

The Jar Store makes it possible for candlemakers and sellers to get their wick on -- that's a candlemaker saying, isn't it? It should be -- without all the trouble of going to the Flea Market or anywhere else for that matter. Which is good, because who wants to drive all over town getting jars and wax? Who wants to try to find that crafts store? Who wants to keep getting hit on by the blue people?

What's that song about? (1)

After putting Noah & The Whale's Jocasta on my upbeat playlist despite it's distinctly downbeat subject matter a while back, I decided maybe I'd give a little more thought to the music I'm listening to, and then I decided that I'd give you a little more thought to the music I'm listening to. Hence, What's That Song About?

Today's entrant: "Oviedo," by Blind Pilot.
Here's what I thought it was about before checking into it: Maybe some Greek philosopher? It kind of sounds like maybe it's about a Greek philosopher. Then again, how many songs are about Greek philosophers? Hey, is that a banjo? I think it is.

Here's the song:



Here's what I think it's about after looking into it: The lyrics say stuff like "The arches here here built 'cause they don't fall... 'Cause I left all my doubts on the airplane..." then they go on to say things like "The lights here are softer than you'd think/The dim lit peacocks in the trees."

Then if you Google "Oviedo," you'll find a lot of hits about towns called "Oviedo" in Florida and northern Spain. Since I've been to Florida and never saw any dim lit peacocks in the trees, and since I did not find my small soul there, I'm going to take a leap of faith and assume it's Oviedo, Spain.

Oviedo, Spain, has apparently been around since 761 and was once ruled by "King Alfonso II The Chaste," a guy who apparently did not understand that being the king can help out with the ladies. (That's him in the picture.)

Modern Oviedo also claims a "remarkable international hold" by virtue of the "Prince Philip Awards" which are "attended by relevant personalities from all over the world."

If only they'd limit attendance at the Oscars to "relevant" personalities.