Stuffed animals are the next generation of marketing.

Are you still promoting your business the (yawn, stretch, blink...) old fashioned way, through print ads and television ads and (ho-hum. Click through TV channels, settle on "Reba" re-run) radio spots?

Boooooooooooring. What you need is something new and fun and catchy and clever, a way to get the word out among the people that your business thinks creatively, that it's on the cutting edge, that it can do stuff that people want, as opposed to stuff people don't want.

What you need, in short, is a clever marketing promotion like the kind that Brava gets you. Brava Marketing Promotions is the way for your business to really stand out- -no TV ads that people fast-forward through, no radio ads for them to ignore while they fight traffic.

Instead, Brava Marketing Promotions has cool, inexpensive stuff that you can put your logo on and hand out. People love free stuff, and your business will be giving away free stuff... so... you can do the math, right?

Here's one I really like: Promotional stuffed animals. I do family law, which means I'm very frequently called on to help people decide how custody should be arranged, or work on child support, or otherwise help people ... who have kids. So I can have a bunch of these:
In my office to hand to Moms and Dads to take home to their kids, or to hand out at seminars and meetings -- and they've got then a little stuffed animal with my company's name and logo on it, one they see all the time. So when they think What lawyer can help me with my child related questions? my name and phone number are sitting right there in front of them -- clutched in their kids' hands.

Clever, right? Brava has other stuff, ranging from hand gel to frisbees to tote bags, so you can find one that fits in with your company, and start getting people excited about your ads. And you can use them for more than that: give them as employee recognition awards, or hand them out as souveniers at company picnics -- use your imagination, and people will use your business.

This post brought to you under duress... (Sweetie's Hunk of the Week 18)

Sweetie's Hunk of the Week is "Bailey Chase."

You/Sweetie Know Him As: The guy who was having computer trouble on a re-run of Criminal Minds" Sweetie was watching last night, prompting her to say "I know who my Hunk of the Week is. It's Bailey Chase."

I know him as: The single most generic looking, generically-named guy Sweetie has ever named a hunk of the week. It's like he's a Ken doll or GI Joe character. Plus, that name? Bailey Chase? It's got to be a stage name, and a boring, forgettable one at that. You could reverse it and it'd be just as forgettable. Even now, I can't think of what he looks like -- and there's a picture of him right there! Plus, this morning, I woke up thinking "Who was it again? Champ Bailey? Chace Crawford? Bailey's Irish Whiskey?"

Thing That Makes You Go Hmmm About Him: On his website, you can request an autographed photo, provided your "request" is accompanied by "Fifteen bucks." Make checks payable to "Karri Philips." The site also takes pains to note that none of the money goes to Bailey Chase (Chase Bailey? Chailey Base?) personally. Plus, the site doesn't give any hint as to who "Karri Philips" is.

Also, check out the other characters "Bailey Chase" has played: "Lincoln Haver." "Becks Scott." "Graham Miller." "Christian Gorman." It's like there's a "Generic Name Generator" that activates around him. The only cool name of any character he's ever played? "Marty 'The Meat Machine' Mayron."

I would send him $15 if he promised to always refer to himself from here on out as "Bailey The Meat Machine Chase."

Reason I Tell Myself Sweetie Likes Him: I don't have a reason. I can barely remember he exists. And, again, his picture's right there! I assume Sweetie needed some blandness in her life, the way people are supposed to eat roughage. Or she was just bored.

Actual Reason Sweetie Likes Him: "He's a babe."

Point I'd Like To Make About Sweetie's Actual Reason For Liking Him: Um. Okay. I guess. Who are we talking about again?

P.S.: For all his blandosity, Bailey Chase inspires strong emotions in Sweetie. When I joked about getting his name ("Chasey Bail?") wrong, she said, and I quote: "If you mess this up, I swear to God I'll kick your ***"

Thor really did fly that way.

Have you ever flown? Not "flown" like "sat in a plane and wished the guy next to you wouldn't hog up both armrests, while trying to see out that little rectangle window," but "flown" like "face in the wind, arms outstretched, just you and the sky and the breeze and the thrill."

Of course you haven't "flown" that way. Nobody has, except Superman. And Thor, I suppose. Thor flew by throwing his hammer really, really hard, and then catching onto the handle. Did you know that?

I'm getting distracted. Maybe you can't "fly" like Superman or Thor, but you can get as close to it as we mortals come, by riding the Manta at SeaWorld.

The "Manta" is the newest ride at SeaWorld and it's the newest reason I want to head on down there: A roller coaster where you lay on your stomach and ride it that way, as though you were soaring through the sky -- or underwater, because part of the ride takes you past and around an aquarium where actual Mantas are kept, so you can have the experience of cruising through an undersea world before you roll and twist and turn your way through an exhilarating ride experience.

And SeaWorld is giving you a chance to show what you know about the Manta, while earning free photographs and the ability to jump the line. Click that Manta link above and you'll get a chance to "Participate and Win" the Manta quiz, a game in which you answer five questions and win free stuff like photos and ride-skipping passes.

I've already done my part and am waiting for my email confirming that I'm a master of Manta knowledge -- and that I'll get free stuff. Now you click on over and get ready to fly the Manta. Or something like that. I'm not in charge of slogans.