Saturday, October 10, 2009

Mentally speaking, I'm a third grader. (Sweetie's Hunk of the Week, 35)

If you know me, or if you've read this blog for any length of time, you will know exactly what I spent the week calling Hunk of the Week 35, who is Matthew Bomer.

Matt Bomer... what could I possibly
say about that name?

You Don't Know Him Without You Have: Here's the thing: I'm doing this in the afternoon, instead of the morning, because we went to visit Middle in college today, and I spent the morning battling the Babies! about whether they could, or could not, have cookies for breakfast (I said they could not, while Sweetie decided at one point they could have a few), and because I'm doing this in the afternoon, Sweetie is upstairs taking a nap instead of over sitting at the table like she usually is.

I'm sure Sweetie told me how she knows who he is, and what he was in, and why our Google search history is full of searches about him, but I can't remember because the moment I heard his name, I stopped paying attention to whatever it was Sweetie was telling me about him.
Bomer. Hmmm. Matt Bojer.
No. Matt Boker. No...Matt Boler... No....

So I'm going to have to try to reconstruct, through my giggling to myself, how it is that Sweetie, or you, or I, are supposed to know Matt (snort!) Bomer. I reviewed his IMDB website, but that was no help. It said he was on Chuck, which nobody has ever watched, and on some show called Tru Calling, which you know is stupid because the first word isn't spelled right. "Tru Calling" looks like the kind of name they'd come up with for a fake television show in another movie or show, like if you made a movie about a guy in a TV show and had to come up with the name for the TV show the guy was in, you'd call it Tru Calling, and hope for the best.

So the bottom line is, I don't know how you're supposed to know this guy, unless you're a fan of people's last names being almost funny.

Thing That Makes You Go Hmmmm About Him: Other than his name, of course... (chuckle.)

Seriously, how did he ever make it through
Junior High without having a nervous breakdown?
I was called Pagel Bagel every day of
6th-8th grade. Have kids changed that much?

If you can get past his name... and I clearly can't... you might also want to know that Matt was going to be the new Superman in Superman Returns, until the original director left the project and Brandon Roush replaced Matt (notice I'm not using his last name). Don't feel too bad for him, though: He's apparently been cast as a god, and not just in Sweetie's daydreams -- in a real movie, too!

Reason I Tell Myself Sweetie Likes Him: Let's take another look at him, so I can stop thinking about his last name (tee- hee!) for a moment:

I won't laugh, I won't laugh, I won't laugh...

Let's see, cool hair, blue eyes, nice face... obviously, it's the jean jacket. That's what Sweetie's into, I'm sure. Jean jacket. She likes her some denim.

Actual Reason Sweetie Likes Him: Again, Sweetie's upstairs and sleeping as I write this, and if I go wake her up she's going to say things like why haven't you put your laundry away yet or when are you going to take down the air conditioner, so I have to recreate this on my own. I tried checking the search history, but all I got was a list that went from Matt Bomer to math games to matisyahu, which I've never heard of, so I went to see what that was, and it turns out it's a singer who blends traditional Jewish themes with reggae, rock, and hip-hop.

So now, I'm left thinking What does Sweetie do all day? Is she living some kind of secret life as a Jewish-hip-hop-reggae loving mathematician? While I'm at my office, theoretically working, is she here jamming around the living room while doing algebraic functions?

We never really know the people around us, do we?

Point I'd Like To Make About Sweetie's Actual Reason For Liking Him: Then again, maybe we do know some of the people around us. When Sweetie told me Matt Bomer's name, I started laughing and she said "I knew you'd do that."

As usual, we finish up with what the ladies really like:

P.S.: That Matiyahu guy is actually pretty good. I listened to this and imagined Sweetie, plugging away at her math games while dancing around:

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