Wednesday, April 28, 2010

It's the time of the year when I start wishing I could wear sunglasses again.

I can't wear sunglasses -- or at least not easily. I've got a crooked nose, you see; my nose bends about 1/3 of the way down, which means that when I put on sunglasses, they sit crookedly and look weird and hurt my ears.

All of which means that I spend my springs and summers and falls (and even winters) squinting, which in turn makes me look older, and also I spend my time holding up my hand to block the glare of the sun, and otherwise bearing the brunt of my crooked nose -- and also that I can't look cool like people in sunglasses do.

Remember when Snoopy wanted to be "Joe Cool?" He put on sunglasses. So did Tom Cruise in the 80s, and Bill Clinton in the 90s: Sunglasses aren't just helpful, they're cool. And all those people who want to be cool get to go to Optics Planet -- www.opticsplanet.net -- and pick out cool sunglasses like these
and wear them to the places they go -- and be cool. While all I can do is imagine how I'd look in those -- wearing them, say, as I take the Babies! to the park, no longer a dorky dad in my Crocs and Green Lantern shirt -- but a cool dad in my Crocs, Green Lantern shirt, and sunglasses.

2 comments:

Jun said...

I can feel your pain; my own nose is far from being perfect so I have trouble with glasses too. Thank you for posting this, it made me realize that I wasn't alone..

Jack said...

I understand exactly what you mean. I've had my nose broken twice and I have a deviated septum so my nose is all kinds of crooked and like you I can't wear sunglasses. It makes busting out my bounty hunter metal detectors hard because the beach is so bright that even squinting doesn't work and so I have the hardest time treasure hunting.