Monday, July 05, 2010

Yeah, I'm trying this again. (早晨新闻)

早晨新闻: That's "morning news" in simple Chinese. Now you know.

Things That'll Kill You Update: If you're keeping track of things that will kill you, as I do, add "grapes" to the list. A Greenville, Wisconsin 10-year-old girl nearly ate a black widow spider hiding in some grapes. The grapes were from Mexico; it's not known where the spider was from.

People I Hate But Will Pretend To Be Friends With: Paul Sims of Mequon was the latest Wisconsin lottery winner, taking home $920,000 after taxes. If he lives in Mequon, he's already got tons of money, so if he wants me to be his friend, he'd better start feeding $20s into the little slot on his computer to email them to me.

Paul Sims doesn't have a crazy "Here's how I won the lottery in a wacky way" story... yet... but maybe he doesn't need one; his paltry $920,000 is the lowest in the past three years' of Wisconsin history.

Small Town Newspaper Watch: The Power County Press headlined two stories this weekend: coverage of the controversial "bike rodeo" where (I'm pretty sure) kids are taught to rope and brand bikes, and news of a class-action lawsuit being filed by some New York City produce stands ("New York City!") against Idaho potato farmers. Guess which story local moms clipped out and put on the 'fridge with a magnet shaped like a kitten?

This ad for adults only: Kids, stop reading right now. I mean it. Look away. Seriously. Don't make me come over there. Aw, to heck with it. I'm not your parent. Go ahead, read about how to find someone who shares your likes and dislikes -- whatever they may be -- at the website that'll help you find that significant other who, like you, thinks otters are sexy but hates words with the letter "k" in them.

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