Wednesday, August 08, 2012

I Could NOT use a little bit more to hold on to. (Project 190, Day Thirty)


First off, I worked out yesterday but didn't get a chance to post because I was busy all day.

Second off: I GAINED ANOTHER POUND.

I KNOW.  I WAS ASTONISHED, TOO.

There's not even any excuses; I didn't eat or drink anything before working out, nothing like that.  I just got up and went to the club and got on the scale and there it was, 253, all glaring at me and sneering.

Numbers can sneer, did you know that?

Look at it:

253.

Doesn't it look like a sneer?


I haven't so far been terribly concerned about what I've been eating -- I'm not counting calories or even particularly watching what I eat, but even without paying much attention I've gotten the idea that I'm eating healthier, although maybe I'm just fooling myself and blocking out the memories of eating, say, a five-pound bag of Butterfingers.

I have several theories about what is actually going on here, the first being Higgs Bosons.  I make a lot of jokes about Higgs Bosons, because nothing is funnier than a subatomic particle that may or may not exist (I know, right?) and if they do exist then the Higgs Bosons are probably doing to me what they do to other stuff, which is to add mass, so the lesson is Don't Make The Bosons Mad which OH MAN that's going to be my autobiography title.

The other theories are:

1.  I am putting on muscle.  That is Sweetie's theory, given to me again today, to which I responded "Yeah, belly muscle," and it's a valid theory except that my goal is not to be a 300-pound muscle guy, it's to be a 190-pound skinny guy.

2.  I have only just begun to fight, as sea captain John Paul Jones did not say (I just looked it up) but he should have.  What he said is "I have not yet begun to fight" when asked to surrender, and I like that feeling, so I have only just begun to fight, fat cells.

(I ran out of songs about fat guys.)

Here is what I mean: I've been working out 30 days now, but I've only just begun to regularly get over 20 minutes.  My swims have been over 20 minutes only three times out of the last four.  My runs just began being consistently 20 minutes of running -- the first couple were about 15 minutes of running with a walk up the hill.  And biking? Biking is easy.

So while I've gotten healthier, for sure -- my shirts are already fitting better, and I think I can see my face, my real face, a little, by which I mean: my face has over the past few years gotten rounder and I have a hugenormous chin that I hate, when I look in the mirror the last few days I can see my face, looking a little slimmer: I think the fat is starting to leave, a little, and I can see the face I want hiding behind there -- I haven't really started to burn many calories yet, because my workouts aren't hard enough.

That's the theory, anyway, so I'm going to stick with this, but I'm going to add to it.

I'm going to do a pants-check, once a week, using a pair of old pants I've kept around for just that purpose, because they're too tight but I wanted to be able to wear them again.

I will do the pants-check on the same day I weigh in, from here on out.

So:

Today's workout: Swimming, 30 laps, 22:00.
Latest weight. 253. (I'll wipe that sneer off your face, 253)

Today's song that isn't quite about me but I'll close with it:

Fat-Bottomed Girls, Queen.




Update: Apparently, I threw out those pants.


6 comments:

PT Dilloway, Superhero Author said...

Should probably lay off the McDonald's cheeseburgers.

Andrew Leon said...

So I know I've said this before, but you should drop the sugar. Seriously. You will see a rapid difference.

Liz said...

Two words: tape measure.

And, are you drinking enough water? Over the weekend, I was talking to my father's wife, and she said that it was important to drink enough water when you're trying to lose weight. Something about it helping to clear out stuff.

I believe the formula for "enough" water is: take your weight in pounds (253)-->ounces, so 253 ounces. Divide in half. That's how much water you should drink a day (126.5 oz).

Then again, I'm all for blaming it on the Higgs Bosons.

PT Dilloway, Superhero Author said...

Ooh, according to my doctor's scale I've lost 17 pounds in over 4 months. I only need to lose about 150 more to be at my ideal weight.

anna. said...

I LOVE THAT SONG. also...keep on keeping on ( :

i went to the pool again today and i thought i was going to die. when i stopped, the lifeguard told me to keep going. so i did. DO IT WITH ME.

Rusty Webb said...

Quite holding a brick in your hands when you weigh. Trust me, it will screw up your scale's ability to weigh you accurately. I know, it sounds stupid. I mean, surely a scale isn't so dumb that it can't tell the difference between a person and a brick. But you'd be surprised at how dumb a scale is.