Thursday, April 30, 2009

Quote of the Day, 25:

"The people that suffer are Matt Stafford..."
-- One of the "Dan Patrick Show" commentators, this morning.

If you don't follow sports, you may not know that Matt Stafford is the college kid who just got drafted by the Detroit Lions and got a contract that guarantees him $42 million.

That's: $42,000,000. Guaranteed.

Talking about those salaries and the salary cap and that kind of thing on the Dan Patrick show this morning, one of the commentators made that absolutely leotarded (thanks, Dan Savage) statement that Matt Stafford, who is guaranteed $42,000,000, could somehow be suffering as a result of that.

Matt Stafford is guaranteed, at the age of about 22, to be paid $42,000,000 in his lifetime, even if he never completes a single pass, never scores a point, never does anything worthwhile in any sense of the word. Matt Stafford could toss nothing but interceptions from here on out until he is cut, and he will be paid $42,000,000.

To keep that in perspective: Matt Stafford is 22. He'll live, say, 60 more years. So he can spend $700,000 per year from here on out, and not run out of money.

He can spend $1,917 each and every day of his life for the rest of his life, and not run out of money.

He can spend $79 per hour, for every single hour of the next sixty years, and not run out of money.

He can spend $1.33 per minute, for the rest of his life, and not run out of money.

But Matt Stafford is in some way suffering?

That is an absolutely leotarded comment, Dan Patrick Show commentator. And you're an idiot for saying so.

Other things Matt Stafford could do with that money:

The median price of a home in Detroit is $7,500-- just $7,500-- so Matt Stafford could buy homes for 5,000 families, and have $4.5 million left over.

The median income for people in Michigan is $49,699 -- so Matt Stafford could pay a year's wages to 800 people and have almost $3,000,000 left over.

At this location, a single person can get primary health care for a whole year for $500. So Matt Stafford could pay for primary health coverage for 70,000 people for a whole year, and have $7,000,000 left over.

But, yeah, he's suffering. He's suffering.

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