Sweetie's Hunk of This Week is Ryan Reynolds.
You/Sweetie Know Him As: If you think he's cute/are a woman, you probably know him as "that guy who was in that movie that ostensibly was about an election, only really he spent a lot of time talking to his kid and meeting other women." You know, the one that was supposed to be sweet but really it was a long-winded way of telling his daughter "I never really loved your mom."
I Know Him As: The guy I secretly try to be a lot like. Let's face it: He's the kind of funny/cool that we all wanted to know in high school. Not mean-cool, like some kids were. Ryan Reynolds seems funny in a low-key way, and also like he would have been nice to everyone in high school and gotten elected class president. Also, Van Wilder, which is what I think he's like in real life.
Thing That Makes You Go Hmmmm About Him: Supposedly, he wants to play The Flash if a movie is ever made about that superhero. But The Flash was, like, the worst superhero.
Reason I Tell Myself Sweetie Likes Him: I didn't realize Sweetie liked him until she told me, so now I'm just concerned about all the other secret people Sweetie likes. Who else is lurking out there? Rod Taylor? Jazzy Jeff?
Actual Reason Sweetie Likes Him: He's "funnysexy." (Pause...) Plus, his body.
Point I'd Like To Make About Sweetie's Reason For Liking Him: I asked her that late at night as we were going to bed. That pause was long enough, almost, for me to fall asleep. So it went like this:
Me: Why do you like him?
Sweetie: He's funnysexy. [ Pause. ]
Me: (Thinking) Hmm... That's nice. Now I'll fall asleep.
Sweetie: [ends pause] Plus his body.
Me: Oh. [Lies awake all night secretly trying to suck in stomach.]