Saturday, July 31, 2010

The Holy Glove Box was bumped to page 2 because of this story. (Laws of Nature, Law #2)


Everything that is possible will at some point happen in Florida.

Watch the news: If something happened, then that same thing happened or will happen in Florida. And if something weird happened, then that thing probably happened first in Florida. I'm to the point where when I see a teaser for a story on CNNHLNFIDO, like "This woman can't believe it's still her car..." I think "What part of Florida did that happen in?" Then the story comes back and it turns out that the Mormon church consecrated a glove compartment as the new holy land, only to have a sinkhole use the Holy Glove Box to abduct three children during an armed robbery that arose as a result of a celebrity divorce... in Orlando.

So this morning, when I saw the headline "Jesus Talk Saves Cashier from Gunman," I thought: Hmm... good start for Saturday, Florida. And I was right: The cashier who talked the gunman out of robbing her (and into confessing that it was only a BB Gun -- excellent robbery plan, Clark Griswold; planning on taking down Wally World next?) was working at a cell phone store in Pompano Beach, Florida.

Also, while we're on the subject of Clark Griswold, Super Robber, who robs a cell phone store?

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