Friday, May 29, 2009

The Christian Bale Dance Remix was cool, though...(Mourning Gnus, 5/29/09)

What, no introduction? I just couldn't think of one today. So I'll go straight to the Gnus...

The Alternate Ending I Wanted? Christian Bale Taps His Heels Together, Closes His Eyes, And Chants "It's F-Ing Distracting!" As everybody in the world decides that yeah, "Terminator: Salvation" really sucked, the director and the star are saying it's not their fault, because they wanted, really wanted, to make a good movie -- but you stupid movie viewers wouldn't have liked it.

Director/Idiotically-Named Doofus "McG" says that he and Christian Bale wanted to do an ending where Christian Bale's character ("Batman - the Mask + Guns") would die and then have his skin placed over a machine body, and then would shoot all of the stars of the movie and, to quote "Mc-Dumb":

"Fade to black. End of movie. Skynet wins. F--- you!"

But the reason they couldn't do that? You, you dumb viewer. To quote, again, from "Mc-Loser":
"Can you imagine the oxygen going out of the theater?! What just happened! It would piss you off!"

Yes, because audiences are always mad when they see a good movie. Then again, from what I hear, plenty of people are angry after seeing the movie already, so it couldn't have been worse.

Things That Are No Longer News, Two: Let's add to that list of stories that just aren't news-y anymore. Already on it: people winning TV talent shows, a non-event which is now joined by boys being elected prom queen.

Sergio Garcia -- not the golfer -- was elected prom queen at his Los Angeles high school, culminating in a story that persistently continues to not be news or even interesting.

Why isn't this news? Because this guy did it first, and because this guy did it for homecoming a long time ago, and this guy was his college's Homecoming Queen, and because this guy was elected prom queen 72 years ago!

Sorry, Sergio. You're not news. Congratulations and all, but quit taking up my morning headlines.

Google Waffle Update: I've dropped off the first page? Not entirely -- but help me out and search for sticky waffle sandwiches and then click through to me. My self-esteem depends on it.

Website of the Day: I sometimes get the feeling that people are trying a little too hard to come up with clever secrets -- and more and more of the secrets are seeming fake the way that home videos began to look more and more staged after America's Funniest Home Videos had been on for a while-- but I still like to check out PostSecret now and then.


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