Friday, June 26, 2009

I can throw down rhymes with the best of them. (Sweetie's Hunk of the Week 21)

Sweetie's newest Hunk of the Week is Will Smith!

You/Sweetie Know Him As: Mr. Fourth-of-July At the Movies. According to film statistics I just made up but which sound accurate, Will Smith has the top 15 highest-grossing Fourth-of-July-released movies ever, including "Independence Day," "Men In Black," "Hitch," "Fried Green Tomatoes" and "Dora The Explorer vs. Predator."

I know him as:
Thanks to that short-circuit in my brain ("that's what makes me special!"), I can't hear Will Smith without immediately wanting to rap: "Okay... here's the situation. My parents went away on a week's vacation/and/they left the keys to the brand new Porsche. Would they mind? Hmmm... well, of course not." Then I break dance.

Thing That Makes You Go Hmmmm About Him: Most people have forgotten that Will Smith declared this period of 1,000 years from 2000-2,999 the "Willienium." And almost nobody remembers Will2K anymore. Looking back, it all seems so silly now, doesn't it? Our fears that on 1/1/00, our computers would all suddenly come alive and get all jiggy wit it?

Also, if you try to go to "The Official Wil Smith Website,", you'll be redirected to Will's Facebook page, which will give you a link to go to "The Official Will Smith Website,", and if you click that link, you'll get a warning that you're leaving Facebook, and if you click okay to that, you... are immediately taken back to Facebook.

So maybe there was something to that whole Will2k thing after all. That, or they just changed the Matrix again.

The Reason I Tell Myself Sweetie Likes Him: Because nobody... nobody... brought more emotion to the most famous movie line of our generation: "I was supposed to be at a barbecue!" Yeah! Will! Smack that alien! (Sweetie totally hates aliens.)

Actual Reason Sweetie Likes Him: He's "cool."

Point I'd Like To Make About Sweetie's Actual Reason For Liking Him: You know what else is cool? Sitting around in your pajamas and Crocs making jokes about Will Smith. That's cool, too. Right? What if I wear my Crocs & PJs but I also rap? "Okay... here's the situation..."

1 comment:

Erin O'Riordan said...

Will Smith is funny, gorgeous, and has a smile that melts butter!