Friday, September 04, 2009

Why don't you have a seat, Sweetie? (Sweetie's Hunk of the Week, 30)

The Hunk of The Week this week will no doubt be surprised to be pulled out of gym class by the principal and told that he was named Hunk of the Week. Oh, the surprises 8th Grade holds for Bobby Campo, Sweetie's latest crush and the star of "The Final Destination..."

You/Sweetie Know Him As: "Nick" from The Final Destination 4 In 3-D: Technically That's 12D! Sweetie named him after we saw that movie last week, making him the first 3d Hunk! And also the first one who appears to be only twelve. I'd put a shirtless photo of him up here (because I know that's the only thing the ladies care about anyway) but I don't want to get a visit from Chris Hansen.

I Know Him As: "Ben" from The Final Destination 4: The Final-Est Destination. I seriously thought that was his character's name. He looks like he should have been called Ben. And don't ask how I can watch a whole movie and not know the character's name. I typically don't know what any of the characters' names are. I watch them and in my mind I'm thinking Man, Tom Hanks sure does know a lot about flying Apollo rockets.

Thing That Makes You Go Hmmmm About Him: Bobby Campo might well be in the witness protection program. He also goes by "Bobby Camposecco," according to IMDB. As everyone knows, if you've got an Italian-sounding last name, you're either in the mob or you soon will be. Plus you like sandwiches. (Note: My education about Italians is based entirely on "Joey" from Friends and once watching "The Godfather," which was kind of a disappointing movie.)

Thing That Makes You Go Hmmmm About People Who Leave Comments on IMDB: What do you suppose was going through the mind of poisonousbestvillain-1 when he (or she) posted this message on Bobby Campo's IMDB board:

CONGRATS, Bobby! The Final Destination reached No. 1 at the box office!

Do you think that poisonousbestvillain-1 figured that Bobby Campo reads his IMDB message board? Do stars read their IMDB message board? Because if they do, I'm going to go and post a message on Tom Hanks' message board telling him that he was great a piloting that rocket to the moon even though he had AIDS and probably missed his mermaid girlfriend a lot, and that I hope he gets to move out of that all-girls hotel soon.

poisonousbestvillain-1 doesn't just congratulate the stars, either. He also engaged in a lively debate about whether Samara, from The Ring, was a "bitch" or just a murderer.

Reason I Tell Myself Sweetie Likes Him: Sweetie, yesterday, got mistaken for a 22 year old! She had to go pick up the long-awaited shower handle and the people there thought she was 22. She was no doubt swept up in the excitement and decided that, if she looks 22, she might as well get all hot-and-bothered about a guy who looks like he would totally get elected Junior High president.

Actual Reason Sweetie Likes Him: When I asked her why she liked Bobby Campo (even his name sounds young!) she said: "Because if I was in college I'd date him..." When I told her she had to be more specific she said: "Because he's hot and silky."

Point I'd Like To Make About Sweetie's Actual Reason For Liking Him: What? I was all set to make another joke about Sweetie robbing the cradle, but... I give up. What's silky? Is that even a thing?

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