Sweetie's Hunk of the Week is Bradley Cooper.
You/Sweetie Know Him As: The guy from The Hangover who ends up being the fourth- or fifth-funniest guy in that movie.
I know him as: This is going to surprise a lot of people, but I've been a huge Bradley Cooper fan for years. I began rooting for this guy ever since he had played "Gary" on Miss Match in 2003. I loved that show, and I loved him most of all... I saw him and I thought to myself: That guy absolutely nailed the essence of "Gary On Miss Match." He is destined for bigger things, probably involving boob jokes.
Ha! Got you! I had never heard of him before The Hangover, either. Nobody had. Hollywood didn't have its scientists use their vast underground tanks of DNA to create him until this year, when they needed to make up for their embarrassing attempt at making Gerard Butler a romantic comedy star.
Thing That Makes You Go Hmmm... About Him: He once hosted "Extreme Treks" on the Discovery Channel. I never saw that show, but I'm assuming that he had a beard.
The Reason I Tell Myself Sweetie Likes Him: Sweetie has a streak of liking funny guys, and being even the fourth- or fifth-funniest guy in The Hangover means you're still pretty funny, so I'll go with Sweetie likes him because he's funny.
Actual Reason Sweetie Likes Him: "I don't know if he's good looking... or evil good looking."
Point I'd Like To Make About Sweetie's Actual Reason For Liking Him: Remember, he was a nature-show-host, which means he not only had a beard once, but he probably also ate a bug. So everytime you kiss him, you're kissing bug.
Plus... is it a bonus that he might be evil? Could Sweetie be attracted to Supervillains? I really thought I knew Sweetie! Do I have to invent a death ray? Marriage is hard.