Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I even know exactly what I'm going to tell my boss: It begins wtih [unprintable]. (Mourning Gnus 5/13/08)
It's my anniversary... and here's the gnus for today:
Okay, I get the hint, hold the extra cheese: Massachusetts is going to become the second, or third, or somethingth, state to fight obesity by requiring fast food restaurants to list the calories in your meal... this time at drive-through windows, too. It's a great idea because absent that information, I'd have no idea that this:
...could in some way lead to obesity. (That, by the way, is the Carl's Jr. Double Six Dollar Burger -- 1,520 calories of what scientists refer to in technical terms as "deliciousity.")
I think states should take the opposite tactic: Post pictures of the foods you want to eat next to elevators, and say stuff like If you take the stairs, you could eat THIS.
Just don't take my perfect lottery story: In lottery-winner fake-story updates (remember, when you win the lottery, you have to make up an improbable story about how you came to win the lottery, because it's not enough just to win a lot of money, you have to do it in improbable fashion... more improbable than beating 1-in570,000,000 odds), there are two recent winners:
An unnamed 25-year-old from Majorca, Spain, didn't know that she'd won 110 million pounds in the Euromillions lottery, because she was in bed with the flu. She only found out when she dragged herself to work to avoid being fired. Apparently, she can't miss work, but she is free to check her lottery numbers while on the job.
Why do I suspect the woman is lying about the flu and maybe was just huddling with lawyers first? Because she said in that story that she bought the ticket off the Internet, but this story said she bought it from a store.
I'm working on my own story, refining it here and there, because tonight's Powerball is $129 million -- and it's no coincidence that the drawing is being held on my anniversary. I'm thinking: Dinner at A&W Restaurant, buy some tickets, sail off on my private ocean liner to Hawaii. The perfect anniversary.
Google Waffle Update: Checking it yesterday, I accidentally typed "sandiwches," and I was fourth even on that -- so bad spellers/waffle lovers alike are keeping me atop the Sticky Waffle Sandwich world, as for the third consecutive day I am number one for that search term.
Comic Strip You Should Read: I found Subnormality by accident, but it's awesome, and wordy enough to balance out "Nancy:"