Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Deep down inside, I really think I'd look kind of cool in a hard hat.

I like to think I work pretty hard. I mean, what with the amount of surfing the Internet I do, the way I almost always have two matching shoes on in the office, and my knack for telling a joke at precisely the right moment. Those are great job qualities, first of all, and secondly, they show that my job is a manly kind of job where any mistake at the wrong time might... require me to re-type a letter.

So, not exactly like truTV's Black Gold , a show about guys drilling oil wells in unforgiving terrain, working on a job in extreme conditions, a job where a mistake might not just cost them their jobs but their lives. I mean, granted, we have a lot in common, the Black Gold guys and I, like, for example, um, we, both, uh... we both breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide.

Beyond that, after watching truTV's Black Gold trailer , I'm not sure I have ANYTHING in common with these guys. I can't even imagine how they do that job. I doubt I could ever do it. I watched these videos over and over, like this one:

And all I could think about was: I wonder how long I'd last. 5 minutes? Maybe 10, if the last 5 of that 10 minutes I was on a break? I can only imagine how my performance review would go: "While we appreciate the effort, we're a little dismayed that not only did you break the oil drill the moment you touched it, but also you nearly maimed two of your coworkers and started an explosion that leveled 50% of the company's assets. And you started crying. And you're missing a shoe, but we're pretty sure that you didn't have it on when you arrived this morning."

To which I'd no doubt say "So, how big is my raise? And can I take a break to blog about this?"

It probably wouldn't end well, given how they review employees:

It's probably best that I'm not one of the people filmed for truTV's Black Gold drilling show, all things considered. But I will be watching the show.


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