Saturday, August 22, 2009

He's so... what's the word I'm looking for here? It'll come to me. Starts with an "a..."(Sweetie's Hunk Of The Week, 28)

Sweetie's Hunk of the Week this time -- actually, again, her second choice since there is still the SuperSecret Ultra Hidden Hunk of The Week That I Have Promised Not To Post -- is Tony Goldwyn.

You/Sweetie Know Him As: Notice that I didn't put any clever intros to this one, or otherwise come up with something about him. That's because you and Sweetie, and I don't actually know Tony Goldwyn as anything. The last thing he starred in was Ghost, I believe, and I believe that because when I asked Sweetie "Who?" she said "He starred in Ghost." So I should probably rename this feature to "Sweetie's Obscure Character Actor/Collection of Abdominal Muscles of The Week."

(Yep! I brought back that girls-love-abs joke. It's funny because it's true, and it's funny because it makes women so angry. And it makes women so angry because it's true. Vicious circle.)

I know Him As: I know him now as "The voice of Tarzan" in the cartoon from Disney. I know that because when Sweetie told me he starred in Ghost, I stared blankly and tried to remember if Patrick Swayze had ever been called Tony Goldwyn, so she said, "He was the voice of Tarzan," which would be a great help if, instead of picturing Tony Goldwyn, Tony Goldwyn had instead called me on the phone and tried to sell me life insurance. Which is probably what he's doing these days.

Thing That Makes You Go Hmmm About Him: Remember how in the olden days (2002) actors always had some kind of other talent, like how Steve Martin could play the banjo? That was pretty cool. Although Steve Martin was more of a comedian than an actor, then, but he did act, in the movie The Jerk, and other movies, probably, and he could play the banjo. So I decided to see if Tony Goldwyn had any hidden talents, investigating it the way everyone looks up everything nowadays: Googling it. I googled "Tony Goldwyn Hidden Talents" and got the answer:


The closest I came to Tony Goldwyn having a hidden talent of some sort was this line from a DVD review of Friday The 13th, Part VI:

Tony Goldwyn's brief appearance as Darren foreshadows the talent he would go on to display in such films as "Ghost" and "The 6th Day".

Which leads me to believe that Tony Goldwyn was the guy who replaced the other Darren on Bewitched, something I can believe because I never watched Bewitched, either. I was more of a Jeannie fan.

Reason I Tell Myself Sweetie Likes Him: I will go with... curly hair? Googly eyes? I don't know. I give up. I'm still trying to remember what Tarzan sounded like.

Actual Reason Sweetie Likes Him: "He's so unassuming."

Point I'd Like To Make About Sweetie's Actual Reason For Liking Him: It's easy to be unassuming when the two most notable roles in your career can be described as "Voice of a guy that nobody remembers talking," or "Oh, yeah, he was in that movie, too."

Oh, and you're not fooling anyone with that "unassuming" stuff, Sweetie. Let's face it: You like Tony Goldwyn because of this:

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