Sunday, September 13, 2009

1001 Ways To Tune Up The World, Number Thirty-Six

36. Look up more often.

Studies show it improves your attitude and makes you think more positive thoughts. People who look up feel more optimistic and energetic and happier. And remember what happened to that city that Milo visited through The Phantom Tollbooth? We don't want our cities to face that fate.

So lift your chin and look up at the sky.

Prior entries:

13. Ban driving any kind of automobile, motorcycle or other personal vehicle within 1-2 miles of downtown in any city with a population of more than 100,000.

12. Abolish gym class; instead, teach kids to play musical instruments.

11. Change copyright laws to allow anyone to use anyone else's creative work provided that the copier pay 60% of the profit to the originator and that the copier not cast the original work in a negative light.

10. Have more sidewalk cafes and outdoor seating.

9. When you have to give someone a gift, ask them what they want, and then get that thing for them.

8. Never interrupt or finish someone's jokes.

7. Periodically, give up something you like for at least a month.

6. Switch to "E-money."

5. Have each person assigned one phone number, and then add an extension for the various phones and faxes that person might be reached at.

4. Abolish Mondays and Tuesdays.

3. Don't listen to interviews with athletes or comedians.

2. Have "personal cashiers" at the grocery store.

1. Don't earn more than $200,000 per year.


Petri Dish said...

If I look up then how will I know if my feel fall off? Feet aren't as easy to get on the black-market as they used to be.
On a serious(ish) note, just because someone is smiling doesn't mean they aren't happy. I'll try #36 today and complain about my stiff neck and burnt retinas later. There's a sale on eyes now I think.

Briane P said...

So how'd it go? Did your mood improve, or do you need the tooth-eye surgery?

Petri Dish said...

To be honest, I'm not sure. The way I see things depends on how I'm already feeling. If I'm happy, I'll see trees that look like dancers(ballerinas with gout to be specific), ink streams with coloured metal monsters and dogs that smile mischievously at me, as if to say, "I shit in his shoe again". If I'm sad, homeless and stray dogs.
I almost stepped in some dog shit, twisted my ankle a billion times and had someone sneeze on me BUT I had some gummies, got to class really early and ran into an old friend(not literally unfortunately).
Maybe it did improve my mood, or things just seem better in retrospect.

Briane P said...

Petri Dish: Maybe you could just kind of look more towards the horizon, instead of straight up. And you were nonspecific about the gummis: What kind of gummis? Gummi Octopi?

Petri Dish said...

"Maybe you could just kind of look more towards the horizon, instead of straight up."
Do you mean this metaphorically? Can't tell, been reading too much New Age nonsense.

Nah, Lifesavers Gummis. Always Lifesavers or sour gummis.
Ooh, are you hinting that Rachel's octopus in Lesbo Zombies might be gummmi?? I bet that's an integral part of the plot.
"Eat that gummi you sexy ass lesbo!"
"Noo. Nooooo."
Ha, I'm gifted at writing dialogue.

Wish I had some sour gummis now.