Saturday, March 21, 2009

I could put my black licorice into the vest pockets.

I really want to be the kind of guy who needs Tactical Tailor gear. I was surfing around today and came across an LA Police Gear website selling stuff like weapons cases, ammo cases, tactical vests, and something called a "Malice Clip Package," and I started thinking about the last episode of Battlestar Ga-Hack-Tica... about which I will have MUCH more to say soon... and how Baltar got to get all geared up and hold a gun, etc., and how I, too, would like to be the kind of guy who puts on a helmet and has ammo clips and boots and vests and goggles and things like that.

It's just so COOL, and tough, and ... yeah, I'll say it: MACHO. What guy WOULDN'T want to be the kind of guy who says "Yeah, I'll be right there, honey, I just need to order up some Tactical Tailor Modular Assault Vests."

I've said stuff that's a lot LIKE that, in my life. I've said stuff like "Yeah, I'll be right there, honey, let me just mark my place in my Entertainment Weekly magazine and turn down my Penguin Cafe Orchestra CD." That's macho and cool too, right? I mean, in the end, is there any significant difference between a guy who owns a lot of CDs of mostly-instrumental harmonium-based music, and a guy who owns a semiautomatic assault rifle?

If there is, don't tell Sweetie. I've got her fooled.

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