Saturday, September 26, 2009

The butler did it! (Sweetie's Hunk of the Week, 33)

Sweetie's 33rd Hunk of the Week is: Wentworth Miller!

Wait'll you see him with his shirt off!

Wait... something's not right here. Sure, Sweetie likes old, saggy, bald guys... she's married to me... but still. That guy doesn't seem hunky. Let me try again...

Sweetie's hunk of the week is... Wentworth Miller!

I guess I just went with what I
assumed a guy named "Wentworth" would look like. The name "Wentworth" doesn't fit so well into a sentence that contains the phrase "Hunk of the Week," unless the sentence is "The Hunk of the Week asked his butler, Wentworth, to fetch some tea."

Although why would the Hunk of the Week drink tea?

You Don't Know Him Without: Wentworth Miller starred in the "hit" "TV show" Prison Break. I have no idea what that was about, and I wish they'd have
chosen a title that gave at least some clue about the show. Wentworth Miller was also this week's second-most ridiculous Law & Order plot twist, when he played some kind of rogue cop who got to beat up victims because he worked in narcotics, not the Special Victims Unit, and then got briefly reassigned to the SVU (and pulled off of all his ongoing investigations which no doubt did not suffer at all from the fact that they were abruptly abandoned) to work SVU.

That would have been the greatest departure from reality that
I saw on Law & Order this week, except that last night, Sweetie watched an episode on which the SVU guys, from their desktop computers, managed to tap into security cameras on the Iraq-Turkey border -- and do so instantly. They just went click, click, click, and they had still photos from Iraqi border cameras right their on their screen.

Do TV writers know that for someone -- a cop, say-- to view something on the Internet, someone else -- an Iraqi border guard, say -- has to post that thing on the Internet? It's not as if the Internet is a giant Katamari, just conglomerating up all of the information and images in the world.

The Internet! If you've thought it, it's on there,
waiting for Olivia to download it on her surprisingly-high-powered-and-
fast-but-still-government-issued computer.

Thing That Makes You Go HMMMMM About Him: I was totally onto something with that butler crack. Wentworth's full name is Wentworth Earl Miller... wait for it... The THIRD! And he's British. If his parents hadn't moved here when he was one, he'd be carrying a silver tray and saying "Veddy Well, Suh!" even as we speak.

He also sang a capella with the Princeton Tigertones, and here he is singing with them:

Which I'm actually not making fun of. I love that stuff.

Reason I Tell Myself Sweetie Likes Him: Sweetie has absorbed enough Law & Order broadcasts that by now she probably has them imprinted on her mind. I expect that someday, Sweetie will start sculpting little Elliotts and Olivias in her mashed potatoes. That kind of conditioning can only lead to her loving everything about that show, even brief appearances by kind-of-TV-stars.

Actual Reason Sweetie Likes Him: "He's a walking [censored]." Try again; it's a PG-13 blog. "He's a walking [still censored, and now I'm a little shocked.]" Try again. "He's a walking... dream."

Point I'd Like To Make About Sweetie's Actual Reason For Liking Him: Really? This guy?

Butlers do it for you, Sweetie?

I just don't see what the attraction is. I... oh. Never mind:

Sure, he's got all muscles and a great body and chiseled
good looks and a cool career. But you know what? His middle name is
Earl, so...
Yeah. Take that,

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wentworth is a darling! A nice man and handsome too! He can't act at all, but who cares! He's so goodlooking that i want to grab him and never let him go! Your "sweetie" will have to fight me to get him!