I'd program it to make velociraptors, then I'd point out to them that they were never real. (3 Good Things From 8/10/09)

1. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em: I got to play the Babies!' game with them last night in our yard when I took them out to play after dinner. I spent 10 minutes trying to interest them in playing ball, or tag, or anything, but eventually gave up and joined them in their game, which was "throwing stuff in the mucky water of the wading pool." My job was to gather the stuff to throw -- hickory nuts, old toys, sticks -- and hand it to them for the actual throwing.

2. I almost figured out the entire mystery on The Closer before the show revealed the secret. I correctly guessed why the cops were mailing coolers to the suspects -- but had the wrong suspect pegged. Still, being close counts as a good thing for me, since I usually suspect the very first person the cops interview. (And, in fact, that was what I did here.)(But I was close.)

3. This. I want to live in the future, and it's closer every day.