It's Sweetie's Hunk Of The Week: Behind The Scenes!
Yesterday, on the way home from work, I asked Sweetie who the "Hunk of the Week" would be. "You," she said. I said she couldn't pick me, and she insisted that she could. I finally said "Fine, I'll pick Ryan Reynolds," and she said "Well, he might be okay." Then, after a pause, she said: "Or Owen Wilson." About which I noted "Well, you did just watch Marley & Me, so that'd be okay."
Then, I got home from work, and noticed that the desktop picture on our computer had changed from "Christian Bale Tanning," (a picture Sweetie had put there to replace The Boy's Victoria's Secret models) and instead was Owen Wilson.
"Did you put this up before, or after, we talked?" I asked Sweetie. Out of deference to her, I'm not going to say what her answer was. So here's Sweetie's Hunk of the Week:Owen Wilson.
You/Sweetie Know Him As: The laid-back slacker guy who, in "Marley & Me," got married and had a family and turned into a decent guy (so I gather, from the ads), thereby giving women hope that the Owen Wilson's of the world could turn into decent marrying stock and probably making many women regret dumping that one guy in high school or college. Not Sweetie: She gambled right and got me. I'm her Owen Wilson.
I know him as: Actually, Owen Wilson's played that guy a lot, hasn't he? His IMDB biography proclaims him a "self-proclaimed troublemaker," and notes at least two movies where he was a loser guy who turned out to be the right guy after all (Wedding Crashers; You, Me & Dupree). He was kind of like that in Starsky & Hutch, too, if you substitute "Partnering with Starsky" for "marrying Kate Hudson." But I know Owen Wilson from way before he was secretly convincing women that the no-good-guy was husband material: In Bottle Rocket, he managed to play a small-time robber who starred in the single saddest scene, ever, in any movie, featuring a scooter and a jumpsuit. I'd have joined his team, too.
Reason I Tell Myself Sweetie Likes Him: I already said it: I'm Sweetie's Owen Wilson: a late bloomer, the kind of guy who used to wear cutoff shorts to the office and then one day turned into great husband material, the kind of guy who wears pants to the office. Clearly, Sweetie looks at Owen's characters and sees me.
Actual Reason Sweetie Likes Him: "Because of his nose."
Point I'd Like To Make About Sweetie's Reason For Liking Him: Still fits. My nose is kind of crooked to. I win!
P.S.: The picture was up before I talked to her. But you didn't hear it from me.