Saturday, July 25, 2009

Yawn. Stretch. Scratch. What's this, now? (Sweetie's Hunk of the Week 25)

Sweetie's Hunk of the Week is ... Josh Stewart.

That's right. I didn't bold the name because I was trying to think of how I could ratchet down the excitement about the Hunk of the Week. Usually, I put it in bold and italicize it, which is the equivalent, in typing, of a marching band, or at least a really good four-piece combo. But this week's hunk is so uninspiring that I felt that was not appropriate, and I didn't really have anything else I could do to de-emphasize the non-thrill you'll get from this week's hunk. What I really needed was a trumpet player to follow all my readers (both of you) around and do that wah...waaahh sound that accompanies disappointment in old comedy sketches.

So, um, anyway... here we go with Sweetie's hunk of the week...

You/Sweetie Know Him As: Who cares? I've never heard of the guy, his name is boring, and his picture appears to be an amalgamation of other, more interesting people Sweetie could have picked. He's got Patrick Dempsey's hair, that Harry-Potter-Actor's face, Chris Hardwick's eyes. He even probably borrowed Fonzie's jacket for that picture.

I know him as: The guy I'm forced to try to come up with something interesting to say all because Sweetie saw him in a commercial for a movie I'm apparently going to be seeing next week.

Thing That Makes You Go Hmmm About Him: Pleh. Why bother? I'm bored just looking at that picture. He looks bored with himself, too, doesn't he? Like he was going to do some cool publicity photos but then thought, eh... I wonder what's on TV? Plus, it looks like it was taken in his Mom and Dad's bedroom.

The Reason I Tell Myself Sweetie Likes Him: Sweetie likes plain, boring things. She doesn't like icing and toppings on cupcakes. She always goes for vanilla when she's getting ice cream and shakes and stuff. She drinks water. From the tap. Are you getting my drift here?

Actual Reason Sweetie Likes Him: "He's got a sweet face."

Point I'd Like To Make About Sweetie's Actual Reason For Liking Him: That's what she said, anyway, about the face and all, but when I asked her who this guy was, she said "He's in The Collector," a movie that we saw a couple commercials for this week and then Sweetie went online and watched the previews and then she told me it looks good and that we might go see it next week, so I think Sweetie actually likes him because she's excited about that movie, which looks like it might be pretty good, even if it does star... what's his name? Oh, yeah. Josh Dempsey-Radcliffe-Hardwick McNobody.

1 comment:

lisapepin said...

I got all excited about this one, because I read the first line quickly and thought it said JON Stewart. My first reaction was "Hooray!" My second was, "Wait, what?" My third, "Who the hell is that?"

I ususally like Sweetie's taste, even when I don't recognize the celebrity hunk pictured, but this guy is just so... Nondescript.