Saturday, July 04, 2009

It's time for another "Behind The Scenes" At "Sweetie's Hunk of the Week" (Sweetie's Hunk of the Week, 22)

Sweetie's Hunk of the Week 22 is... um.

Here's how it went. Last night, Middle sat down at the computer and noted that the desktop had a series of pictures of one of those tousely-haired younger guys who Sweetie secretly thinks are hunky but who she always says "No, they're not hunky, they're too young for me." Then she usually adds something like "Ecccch!" and changes the subject.

Sweetie does that, I assume, because she realizes that the person she's married to ...

... does not have tousely hair (or much hair at all) and is not 25 and appears to have been genetically manipulated to have had the hunkiness gene bred out of him.

But this time, when Middle asked who the tousely-haired guy in the picture was, Sweetie gave his name - -the name I can't remember right now -- and Middle asked who he was.

"He's been in some Law & Order SVUs," Sweetie said. She and Middle then began talking about which guy he was in which episode and which little girl he'd killed or not killed, and they agreed that they knew who this guy was. Sweetie then looked at me and said I'd know him from being in the original "The OC" episode that inspired that Saturday Night Live parody, Dear Sister.

Which then made me wonder: Who, exactly, does Sweetie think she's married to? Somewhere along the lines, Sweetie has gotten the idea that her husband knows actors from "The OC" by sight.

Or by name, becuase in talking about Mr. Hunk-Whose-Name-I-Can't-Now-Remember, I got his name right. Three times. Sweetie was very impressed, as on most days, I don't get my own name right three times.

With that out of the way, I put the matter in the back of my mind to post today. Then, I came downstairs today to put up Sweetie's Hunk of the Week, 22, and tried to remember who it was.

My mind was a blank. Is a blank, because I still can't remember him. I remember that he had three names, and as I went out to get the paper I used that to try to jog my memory. He had three names, I told myself.

It didn't work: I immediately thought this exact chain of thoughts:

You know who has three names? People who shoot presidents. Lee Harvey Oswald. John Wilkes Booth. John Hinckley. Huh. He didn't have three names. I wonder why.

Then I thought:

Hinckley, Ohio. That's where buzzards live.

So now here I am, posting the 22nd Hunk of the Week and I've got no idea who this guy is, anymore, but I did just look up on Google to confirm that on March 15 of every year, the buzzards return to Hinckley, Ohio. I'd like to go see that.

I've just now solved the problem, I hope, by going to IMDB and searching for The OC, which, I'll note, I never watched, ever (although my dad has). And there's... no three-named guys on the front page. How did my life lead me to this dark place, this place where I am asking IMDB for more details about The OC?

A-ha! Logan Marshall Green! And... hey, this link has been clicked previously!

I wonder who that could have been, that mysterious clicker who wanted more information on Logan Marshall Green, Hunk of the Week Number 22?

You/Sweetie Know Him From: Well, if you are under 30 and vapid, you know him from watching him on The OC. Otherwise, he's been in Band of Brothers and Across the Universe. If you're Sweetie, you seem to know him from searching the Internet for him all day. (I'll say it for her: Who, me? No, he's too young. And: Ecch!)

I know him as: By the time I get done storing this in my memory, I'll know him as the buzzard that returned to Hinckley, Ohio, and shot Lee Harvey Oswald.

Thing That Makes You Go Hmmmm About Him: Like all obscure actors, LMG has a website devoted to him, one that includes this note:
Good news though! “The Line” has been renamed “Dark Blue” and will start airing July 16th at 10pm on TNT!

I can't figure out why it's good news that a show was renamed. The site, though, is called "Logan [Marshall-Green] Online," and boasts that it is "your first and only source for Logan Marshall-Green"... but that's false because there is also Sweetie.

The Reason I Tell Myself Sweetie Likes Him: Let's not guess. Let's just look at Sweetie's web browsing history: "hunky guys under 25." "Washboard abs" "Logan Marshall-Green." "I don't like young guys. Eccch.!" Obviously, Sweetie was just searching for images of Logan to remind herself how much she doesn't like hunky twentysomethings. Lucky for me!

Actual Reason Sweetie Likes Him: Um. I totally forgot this, too.

Point I'd Like To Make About Sweetie's Actual Reason For Liking Him: Did you know that there's a "Dr. Bob Hinkle," who's the official buzzard spotter for Hinckley, Ohio? Now, you do!

Update: when I went to add this to the newly-created Table of Contents for this feature, I had already forgotten his name.

No comments: